I don’t understand

as I see You on the cross.

Why? Why did You do this for me?

You were stripped

of all your garments.

Why? Why did You do this for me?

They took You

and nailed You to the cross.

Why? Why did You do this for me?

You ask the Father to forgive,

and then You give up Your life.

Why? Why did You do this for me?

You did this for me

because of your sacred heart of love.

Dear Jesus,

as I see you crucified

on the Cross for me -

thank you, thank you!

For I have been forgiven,

And from my sins I have been set free.

But as You died for me,

so I must die for you,

I must die to myself.

And give my life as a gift to You.

So that through Your cross You will raise me up in the glory and power of Your resurrection, that I may enjoy your abundance forever.

Continued…

Friend: He has fallen again! This is His third time.

He has fallen climbing up the hill…the hill to Golgotha.

It’s time. Look up! This is the place that will change the world.

Me: I see the hill. I see the soldiers, the thieves, the people and even the priests who have come to mock Him…I see Mary, John, and Magdalene…I don’t know if I can do this…

Friend: We must go up, and you must follow Him.

Me: I know what is going to happen, I don’t want to do this, and I don’t want to see Him go through…

Friend: Would you rather stay in the desert?

Me: Yes! I would rather stay in the desert than to watch what they are about to do to Him.

Friend: Do you love Him?

Me: Yes, of course I do!

Friend: Then you must follow Him. You cannot not turn away from Him now – you must be with Him wherever He leads you.

Me: But…He is going to His death!

Friend: And so must you.

Me: What?

Friend : It’s time for you to die.

Me: Am I to die?

Friend: To yourself.

Me: Die to myself? What do you think I’ve been doing in this desert – if there is ever a slow death, it’s the desert!

Friend: Nevertheless, you must die to yourself. You still hold out on Him. There are things you tightly hold on to, and you won’t let go.

Come! We must follow him.

“When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.

This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled which said, “They divided my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.” So this is what the soldiers did.” JN 19: 23,24

Me: Look at what they are doing! They are stripping Him of His garments, humiliating Him in front of this crowd. Look at His enemies – how gleeful! There are people just standing around…why are they here? Look at His mother, John, and Magdalene…

Friend: He is willing to humble Himself, willing to be humiliated for His sheep. He stands there, stripped of everything He owns – because of His heart.

You must let everything go.

Me: Are you kidding me? Have you been through this desert? It takes everything from you. What do you think I have left?

Friend: If the desert has taken everything from you, why do you fight…

Me: When you go through the desert, it seems like you are stripped of everything, even your dignity. Everything that I’ve wanted to do has been taken away from me – what else does He want? He has taken everything!

You would be surprised how people react, much like what is happening right now. Some are happy to see you down, others are just curious, but there are only a few that really do care.

Friend: You have not lost everything; there are things that you grip very tightly…

Me; You better believe I do! What do you think? Just passively stand by and let the desert take everything from you? You expect me to stand here with nothing? I vowed that this desert wouldn’t take another thing from me!

You hold on tight – you have to – it’s all you have left.

Friend: Still, you must let it go. You must loosen your grip, and let go of everything you have kept from Him.

Me: I am afraid, I have lost so much! I have been so lonely, all the worry and fear – even my health has suffered.

I am afraid of letting go – I am afraid there will be nothing left – what will I do with nothing?

Friend: You must let it go, He waits for you to open your hand…

Me: His hands! Look at what they are doing, they are nailing His hands and feet to the cross! I am beyond feeling, my heart…

Friend: Look at Mary, John, and the other women.

Me: Where are the rest? There is the one that betrayed Him, only John is here. Where are the rest? Peter, James, Andrew – why aren’t they here?

Friend: He goes through this torment with only a few…

Me: This is what happens doesn’t it? It is surprising what happens to your “friends.” They seem to disappear when you go through hard times. People want to judge you, condemn you. They love to point their finger at you when you are down, and maybe get a good kick in when no one is looking.

You know what I think? I think I know some people that would gladly grab one of the hammers here and some nails…

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” LK 23:34

Friend: Stop! He is nailed to the cross for you! And He forgives even those who are hammering nails into His hands and feet.

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom”

Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” LK 23: 42,43

Me: The first person to be with Jesus in paradise – is a thief! The beauty of His grace.

Friend: And the beauty of His heart of love. He will reach to the uttermost to save that which was lost – and you must remember to seek that which is lost.

Me: I feel that I am lost…alone.

When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” JN 19:26,27

Me: Why does He say, woman? Why doesn’t He call her mother one last time?

Friend: He is pointing us to the Garden of Eden after the fall of Adam and Eve:

And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.” Gen 3:15

She is that woman; and as she stands by His feet struck with a nail, Jesus crushes the head of the serpent.

Our salvation promised so long ago in the Garden is now fulfilled.

From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matt 27:45,46

Me: This darkness. I can’t stand it – darkness in the middle of the day! It is unnerving, cold…

To hear Jesus cry out…in this eerie darkness, to hear His voice calling out to His Father in this silence…if He is forsaken then we all are forsaken! What hope do we have?

I am lost!

Friend: Jesus is forsaken so that we might be accepted, He is in darkness so that we may be in the light. He gives us His fellowship, and He gives us the right to be a child of His Father.

Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. JN 19:28,29

Friend: He thirsts so that we may drink freely from of the wells of salvation, to drink of the Holy Spirit.

Me: I am thirsty, and have been for a long time – I long to drink from the fountain of the Holy Spirit.

When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. JN 19:30

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. Matt 27:51

Friend: He is dead! It is over! He has given up His life.

Me: The ground is shaking! It’s an earthquake – the ground is going to swallow us up!

I can’t hear anything – the sound is deafening!

I stand before Jesus crucified!

JESUS! Forgive me! Thank you for giving Your life for me. All that You have suffered for me, all that You give to me!

I let go of everything and I give everything to you. I die to myself.

Whatever you want me to do, wherever You want me to go, whatever you want me to say – I surrender to Your will.

It seems as though I have been boxing, fighting something that is not even there…my fists are just flinging in the air not hitting anything. Now I know all along I have been fighting myself, and if I landed any blows – they were landing on me.

My fight is over, You are my Lord and my God.

Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jews. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there. Matt 27:38-42

Friend: Joseph and Nicodemus have come to take the body of Jesus.

Me: It is quiet, and the ground is still. All I can hear are the soldiers working on taking the body of Jesus from the cross.

I can also hear…I can hear the women crying;- I see Mary waiting for her Son.

Friend: Jesus is taken from the cross. and so will you be taken from yours – your trial, your desert will now end.

Me: I see Mary holding her Son. I see her sorrow, but I also see a peace – she knows what will happen…

Friend: They will now place Jesus in the tomb.

Just as Jesus is placed in a tomb where He cannot be seen, there is a time when you will not seen, when you are hidden.

Me: So the desert goes on…

Friend: No! You are out of the desert, but now the Holy Spirit has set you apart. That has been His intention all along; He has worked in you to remove all the wood, hay and stubble – so that only what is precious may remain.

You are set apart, and now you must wait on Him.

Me: It doesn’t seem like there is much left, that there isn’t much for Him to use.

Friend: There is much more in you than you know; it is hidden as Christ is now hidden. And just as Christ is resurrected in the fullness of life, glory and power – the stone can do nothing else but roll away – and is shown in victory to the world: so the Lord will open your door and lift you up to show His glory to the world.

All the work the Father has done inside you will be revealed; you will begin to understand yourself, and understand the work in Jesus He has called you to do.

So now, you are out of the desert, but hidden: and in a moment the stone will roll away as you walk out into His Garden of Abundance.

Me: Will you stay with me?

Friend: I will.

Me: I know now, it is over. I have His peace, I am in His will. I wait for Him to roll the stone away as I walk into His Garden of Abundance.

Oh, by the way…

Friend: Yes?

Me: After all this time we have walked together: What is your name?

Jesus, lead me out of this desert

to you Garden of Abundance.

I hear you calling me,

as You take Your cross.

“Walk with me,” is all I hear.

Jesus takes His Cross

and I must walk with Him.

He walks under the weight

of all the world.

And I am part of His burden.

When Jesus falls under this weight,

I must be with Him.

I must walk with Jesus

through the ridicule and jeers.

Through the hatred of the crowd,

through the violence and the spit.

When He falls again,

I must be with Him.

Jesus, lead me out of this desert

To you Garden of Abundance

I hear you calling me.

“Walk with me,” is all I hear.

Dear Jesus,

I will walk out of the desert by walking with Jesus carrying His cross.

Continued…

Me: I will stand with Jesus who is wearing a crown of thorns, where I belong. If they want to crucify me, then let’s go.

Friend: Standing next to Jesus, you are able to see the crowd as He sees them.

Once more Pilate came out and said to the Jews, “Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him.” When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “Here is the man!”

The Jews insisted, “We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.” JN 19: 4-7

Me: Look at their faces! I just don’t understand. Look at their eyes – where does this hatred come from? Less than a week ago they hailed Jesus as a King, now they are calling for Him to be crucified.

But I do see the eyes of the ones who are distressed – I know they love Him. They are overwhelmed by this vicious and hysterical crowd.

Friend: There are times when the righteous must submit to the Father’s will in complete trust, even when what they see tells them not to.

He now stands before Pilate.

“When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid, and he went back inside the palace. “Where do you come from?” he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer. “Do you refuse to speak to me?” Pilate said. “Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?”

Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.” JN 19:8-11

Me: Why does Jesus humble himself like this -

Friend: Jesus has given the good profession of faith. He has humbled himself to an earthly ruler in order to please the Father, the Almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jews kept shouting, “If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar.”

When Pilate heard this, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge’s seat at a place known as the Stone Pavement (which in Aramaic is Gabbatha). It was the day of Preparation of Passover Week, about the sixth hour.

“Here is your king,” Pilate said to the Jews.

Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified. JN 9:12-16

Me: This crowd has chosen an earthly king and rejected the King of the Universe. I can’t bear to see it.

Friend: He now takes up His cross. Do you want to know the way out of this desert?

Me: Of course! I want out of this desert – will you show me the way?

Friend: I cannot. The only thing that I can do for you is to point to the heart of Jesus.

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: He will show you the way out of this desert.

Me: He is now carrying His cross…look at this crowd…

Friend: Follow Him! Your way out of the desert is to walk the path with Jesus carrying His cross.

Me: The path out of the desert is to follow Jesus in His agony? I don’t understand.

Friend: Nevertheless, you must follow Him!

Me: Will you come with me? I don’t want to be alone.

Friend: You will walk with Christ – you will never be alone. But I will stay with you until you leave this desert..

Me: Thank you…I see Him. He is slipping – He has fallen to the ground!

Look how weighed down He is…our sins and our burdens – it’s too much to bear as He carries his cross.

He carries His cross because of me! He is on the ground because of me!

I have fallen many times.

Friend: He is back up…the scourging, the beating, the crown of thorns, all the while with no sleep…it is His heart, His loving heart for us that carries Him onward.

Look who is coming to be with Him during His agony.

Me: Who is she?

Friend: His mother…

Me ; Mary! Look at her face…her eyes, you can actually feel her heart breaking…what is she to do?

Friend: His mother has been prepared for this very moment. She has stored up all the words and prophecies concerning her Son in her heart. Her heart will be pierced…

She will now walk with Him.

Me: Jesus is unable to carry His cross. He is unable to walk anymore – what will He do? The soldiers are driving Him: why don’t they see He is unable to do this?

Friend: There is one who will help Him.

As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. LK 23:26

Friend: Will you be like Simon?

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: Walking with Jesus and carrying His cross for Him. You must carry your cross as you enjoy His abundance.

Me: But His abundance is blessing and joy, how can I carry a cross?

Friend: Only then will you have true joy. Will you give yourself to Jesus, your very heart and mind – your all – will you die to yourself daily and live to Him?

We let go of so much in the desert.

You let your days go…how can you take back all those wasted days, weeks, months and years?

You let your days go…you filled your days with sadness and decided that you weren’t going to be happy until you were out of the desert.

You let your days go…you spent so much time in worry, you miss all the good the Father provided for you.

You let your days go…you let fear and dread enslave your thoughts and actions so that you spent your time hiding from Him.

You let your days go…in bitterness, anger and resentment so that your time was spent in the prison of your own doing.

But let your days go…and realize each day is a gift from the Father, even while you are in the desert.

But let your days go…let the Father redeem all your lost time and give you a blessed future.

But let your days go…and let Him work in you to experience His joy even now.

But let your days go…as you obey Jesus in all the things you do, every step will get you closer and closer to His abundance.

But let your days go…love Him always, even in the desert – let His love envelope you and carry you to His heart.

Me: I have wasted so much in this desert. So much time and too much emotion – I could have given Him so much more.

I see before me, what He is doing for me – I will do it – I will carry my cross as I enjoy His abundance.

Friend: Veronica is wiping His face from His blood and sweat, she cares for Him in the midst of the soldiers and the crowd.

Me; She is staring at the cloth, why? What is she looking at?

Friend: She sees the face of Jesus. Her very action imprinted His image on her gift of love to Him.

When we minister to the least of these in their time of dire need, we see the image of Jesus in everything we do.

Me: He is falling again – why are they pushing Him so hard? Why are they treating Him like this?

I can’t bear to see Him on the ground, I am ashamed that I have fallen so many times.

A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. Jesus turned and said to them, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. For the time will come when you will say, ’Blessed are the barren women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’

For if men do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?” Luke 23:27-31

Friend: The desert is to prepare you for His blessing. What you learn in the desert will help you to be a good steward of His blessings in His Garden of Abundance.

To be faithful in His abundance may be more difficult than this desert.

Me: I don’t know what you mean. This desert is horrible – are you telling me that I could have a harder time in His abundance? Wouldn’t it be easier?

Friend: You may forget.

Me : Forget what?

Friend: He has fallen again! This is His third time. He has fallen climbing up the hill…the hill to Golgotha.

It’s time.

Look up at the hill, this is the place that will change the world.

Me: I see the hill. I see the soldiers, the thieves, the people and even the priest who come top mock Him…I see Mary, John and Mary Magdalene…I don’t know if I can do this…

To be continued…

Behold the Man!

His crown of thorns,

instead a crown of gold.

Behold the Man!

Wearing a purple robe,

to cover His scourged body.

Behold the Man!

Holding a reed,

instead of the scepter of a king.

Whom will you follow?

Who will you run after?

Will you choose

the beautiful people?

Will you run after money,

grab for power,

or will you stand next to Jesus?

From where do you get your approval?

With whom do you seek affirmation?

Do you seek it among friends,

or from the stars?

Will you seek it from those who will use you -

or will you stand next to Jesus?

I seek to journey out of the desert to His abundance by standing with Jesus, where I belong.

Continued from last week…

Me: I will do this, it is so much easier now. I realize that if He could do this for me, I can do this for Him. I will do this for Him – I let go – reach in take this burden, this hurt, and fill me with your joy!

It’s done.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for carrying this for me. Lead me to Your Garden of Abundance.

Friend: They are done. They will now take Jesus back to Pilate.

“Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. Matt 27: 27-31

Me: Look at what they are doing to Him! He is the King! They mock and ridicule Him as if He was nothing. They are taking the King of Kings after His scourging and beating Him even more. How can anyone stand that?

Friend: The soldiers are mocking Him as King. But people are doing the exact same thing as you see now, even today.

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: Look how many are trying to recreate Him so that they may mock Him, and even try to destroy Him.

This has happened throughout history. They want to reduce Him to just a man, redefine Him, and make Jesus into their own image.

They use false stories, false gospels, and false histories.

They want to crown him in their own name, with their robe, and give Him a stick instead of a scepter. And then they beat Him and spit in His face.

Me: We must stand for Him!

Friend: There are those in the Church doing the same thing. They want to fit in with the age, so they try to make Jesus fit in by changing Him.

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: There are those in the Church who will not stand with Jesus in this age of shifting morality. Instead of bearing His reproach, they would rather have the affection of those who hate Him. So they try to change Jesus, to fit Him into this age of rebellion.

Me: I know that there are those who prefer to let the innocent die than to…

Friend: But there is more. Some in the Church use Him for their own gain.

Me: How do you use Jesus for your own gain?

Friend: They want Him to be the god of success, the god of the beautiful people, and the god of money. They want to use Jesus to follow these gods.

So they recreate Jesus to be the god of success, the god of the beautiful people, and the god of money. This way they can comfort themselves thinking that they are actually following Jesus.

Me: There are a lot of golden cows in the Body of Christ. I know, I have seen it…

Friend: You have done the same thing.

Me: I have done the same thing? What are you talking about?

Friend: You limit the extent of His lordship. You control your relationship with Jesus and yet take advantage of His blessings.

Me: I love Jesus! How could you say that?

Friend: You suppress His voice. You are afraid of what He may ask you to do. Instead of listening to His still small voice, you fill your life with the loud things. You simply are afraid to pay the price to do His will.

You want to use His glorious riches to finance your desires for your life, instead of what He may call you to do.

Me: Really, I mean, how could you say that to me? He is my Lord and my God. He is…

Friend: Oh, really? You fight His calling for you – you don’t want to surrender your own calling that you have decided for your own life.

Me: Calling for my own life? What a minute! You may not know, but I have followed the Lord’s leading. Do you realize what I have done…

Friend: Why have you permitted the loud things to control your life and stifle His still small voice?

Me: The loud things? What are you talking about?

Friend: The loud things that you have permitted to control your life. It is the urgent, the things that always call out the loudest, and take you away from His still small voice.

You run from Him by doing this.

Me: You are right, I have been running after the “urgent,” and letting circumstances control my life.

Friend: You must stop running from His still small voice. And you must stop running from your calling.

You have to make a decision.

Me: What do you mean – a decision?

Friend: Look! Here comes Jesus.

When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “Behold the man!” John 19:5.

Friend: Behold the Man! Behold your Lord wearing a Crown of Thorns instead of a crown of gold. He wears a robe given by another king. He stands alone, tired, His back torn to shreds, and blood is dripping down His face.

See Pilate! We see the allure of Pilate and the power and glory of Rome. They are the influential and the beautiful people – those who are connected and who will take you where you want to go.

Look at the ones who want to redefine Him so that they can destroy Him, calling for Him to be crucified.

And then there is the crowd: you can get lost among all the others, fit in, and never having to take a stand.

Where will you stand? Will you stand by earthly power, with those who want to crucify Him, or hide in the crowd? Or will you stand by your Lord who wears a Crown of Thorns?

He is the King of Kings and we are afraid to stand with Jesus – when He is wearing His Crown of Thorns – but we will follow Him when He wears the Crown of gold.

He stands alone. Will you stand alone with Him?

Me: Do you know what will happen to me if I go up and stand with Him before this crowd? Those people are crazy right now.

Friend: But still; you must make a decision. He stands alone. Will you stand alone with Him?

Me: Are you kidding me? You don’t know what you are asking! This could cost me everything!

Friend: It could cost you what? What did you say?

Me: It could cost me everything! What do you think I said? Don’t you get it? Look at these people!

Friend: So, may I say that you love other things more then Him? May I say He is not your first love?

Me: Not my first love? Are you saying He is not my first love? Am I afraid to face it? He may be not my first love. I do love other things that stop me from standing with Him in front of this shiftless crowd.

What do I do? You are asking me to leave everything behind and stand with the One who is wearing the Crown of Thorns.

I don’t know if I can do this.

Friend: It is your choice. Only you can decide. If you prefer to turn away…

Me: No ! I will not turn away! I can’t. I will stand with Him. I surrender. I have fought Him for so long – I have wanted to do what I have wanted to do. I am sorry for ignoring His still small voice and filling my life with the loud things.

Forgive me! I surrender! I will do whatever You want me to do.

I will stand with Jesus who is wearing the Crown of Thorns. I know this is where I belong. If they want to crucify me, well then, let’s go.

To be continued…

I need Your healing.

The healing of my heart

and my mind,

my spirit, soul and body.

I need You to touch me,

to lift me up to You.

I need you,

to give me Your very breath,

so that I may live again.

I have walked through

Gethsemane with You,

and have poured out my heart.

I have forgiven those

who have hurt me,

But I am still in pain.

As I see You,

give Yourself to the scourging

in love for me,

the stripes on Your back -

are for my healing.

Heal the pain,

heal the hurt.

Lift my heart to you.

Let me leave this desert

And live again.

Please bring me to your healing Abundance.

Continued…

Me: I surrender to your will, I surrender my heart. I want to look deep into the heart of Jesus, and get lost it.

I want to leave this desert so that I my go to your Garden of Abundance.

Friend: Will you please come with me? I need to show you something.

Me: Where?

Friend: You will see.

“Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.” Mark 15:15.

Me: Look! The crowd is choosing a known murderer for the Son of God! To see this makes you feel so helpless – how could they do this? How could Christ let that guy go and take it Himself?

Friend: Jesus is condemned, and another is set free…someone who doesn’t deserve to be set free. Leviticus 16 tells of the sacrifice of a goat for the sins of the people, and another: a scapegoat that is released into the desert bearing all the sins of the people.

Jesus is our sacrifice.

I must now take you to another place.

Me: What is this place?

Friend: This is…

Me: Wait…I know what this place is for! Please, I can’t watch this! Please don’t make me stay here. All I want to do is get out of this desert – why must I go here? Seeing this is worst than the desert!

Friend: We must see Him give Himself to this pain and suffering for our healing.

Me: Why? Why? Why is He doing this? Why is He letting His back be torn to shreds? Those men don’t care about Him, they are just in a drunken rage – they will whip Him just for their sadistic pleasure.

I know Jesus just has to day the word – why doesn’t He stop this?

Friend: It is His heart. His heart is driving Him to do this. Because of His love for you, and for all who will cling to Him and trust in Him. He will not say a word, He will remain silent and give Himself to this suffering and humiliation.

Me: Why must He do this?

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. Is 53:4,5

Friend: He decided to carry all our sorrows, all our burdens, and all the punishment for our wickedness and sins.

His heart drove Him to do this for our healing.

Me: I don’t deserve to have Him do this for me. I don’t know if I can handle it, every time they whip His back I know it is for me. Please, I can’t do this…

Friend: That is the point, isn’t it? We could never deserve this sacrifice. He wants to do this for you.

May I ask you a question?

Me: Yes.

Friend: Why do you punish yourself?

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: You carry the weight of your sins as if He never carried them for you.

Me: I don’t understand.

Friend: You have come to Jesus for the forgiveness of your sins and you have worked to make things right with others – why do still carry the guilt, and weigh your soul down with heaviness?

Me: I wish I would have made different decisions. I wish that I would not have hurt those I have hurt, and hurt the One who is suffering for me now. I wish I would have done things differently instead…

Friend: We all do! But He forgives, heals, and restores us!

Look how He suffers for you!

Me: I know, I know! I want them to stop, He doesn’t deserve this, I do! Please dear God forgive me, Please…

Friend: He has forgiven you! You can’t do this over and over again! He has taken the weight on burden of your sin – let go!

Me: How do I do that? I have carried this for so long.

Friend: Lift your heart to the Father now. You see how much He loves you that He has given His Son for you.

Look at the One at the whipping post for you! As you lift up your heart to the Father, give your heart to His Son. He has opened His heart to you. He will give you the strength to let go of this guilt, this weight, and sorrow.

Do this now – stop beating yourself, stop whipping yourself! Believe!

Me: “Dear Father, I lift my heart to you. Give me the strength to give my heart to your Son, and to let go of the guilt, weight, and sorrow over my past sins!”

I feel it! I feel this weight taken from me…thank you dear Son for what you have done for me. Thank you! Help me to never carry this again!

Friend: You still have a Deep Sorrow, don’t you?

Me: A Deep Sorrow? What do you mean?

Friend: A Deep Sorrow is a wound that hurt you so deeply, that over time you have forgotten that it is even there. You may have forgotten the experience, but your actions and feelings in a sense “remember.”

In other words, you may think, feel, and do certain things and not understand why. The reason could be a “Deep Sorrow.”

Me: I know that I have always felt something deep inside, a weight, a sorrow. But I have always ignored it. I guess it was something that I didn’t want to know.

Friend: But you know now?

Me: Yes, I do. I know the Lord has been working on me to open my heart – an extremely hard thing to do. I had to open up to all the pain all over again.

It’s the hurts that happened in my childhood with my mom and dad.

It is a Deep Sorrow that I have carried all these years.

Friend: It is not your fault what your parents have done to you, or not done for you.

Me: That is it, isn’t it? Down deep I think I blamed myself as the reason for them not loving me. I think that I have carried that all my life.

I have a hard time when folks want to show or express love to me. I pull away…that is it! I pull away when folks want to express their love to me, I do that because I feel unlovable. I shy away…

Friend: Do you do that with God?

Me: Yes! Of course I do. I think that down deep side I struggle with the reality of Him really loving me everyday.

Friend: There are many who feel the same way, because of Deep Sorrows and disappointments many doubt His love. You pull away. There those who try to dominate and control others, while some may reject love ones around them because they feel they may be rejected.

They are done. They will now take Jesus back to Pilate.

Me: Look at Him. My heart is sick.

Friend: Look at the heart of Jesus and the depth of His love for you – do you doubt it?

Me: No. I know He loves me. I can’t believe I just said it – I know He loves me!

Friend: He wants to heal your Deep Sorrow, He wants to reach down deep within you with His loving grace to heal you! You cannot carry this burden any longer – you cannot beat your self up any longer, He was beaten for you. Please, open your heart, let Him reach in, and let go. Let Him take that weight and never take it back.

Let it be over. Let Him heal you now!

Me: I will do this, it is so much easier now. I realize that if He could do this for me, I can do this for Him. I will do this for Him – I let go – reach in take this burden, this hurt, and fill me with your joy!

It’s done.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for carrying this for me.

To be continued..

But I must journey through The Garden of Gethsemane – so that I may journey to the Garden of His Abundance.

Continued from last week…

Me: I will do this…I will do this now. I will use this entrance out of the desert…Jesus, open my eyes to see and understand your heart…

Friend: Jesus wants to bring you out of the desert to His Garden of Abundance, He wants you to peer deep into His heart, and get lost in it…

Me: That’s what I want! I want to go deep into the heart of Jesus…I have got to get out of this desert. let me get lost in it!

Friend: Then we must first journey with Him in the Garden of Gethsemane.

“He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed,” Lk22:41

Me: I see Him. He is so alone.

Friend: To journey through the Garden of Gethsemane is a journey that is alone. Only then may we see what is deep in our hearts.

Me: I feel so alone. I don’t like this feeling, I don’t want this feeling…

Friend: In order to look deep into His Heart, we must open our hearts. Just as two people need to open their hearts to each other, in order to know one another – the only way to know the heart of Jesus is to open our heart to Him.

Me: I see His struggle.

“…he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matt. 26:39

Friend: Jesus has fully opened His heart to the Father, and Jesus fully poured out His Heart to the Father – you must do the same.

Me: I will try, I mean I want to…my heart is so hard I don’t feel there is anything to open.

Friend: Jesus will pour out the mercy and grace of Gethsemane for your heart.

Me; I need this grace! My heart seems so hardened and cold, I seem so distant from Him as He is praying. Please dear Jesus, touch this heart, this weak and hardened heart…

Friend: You must forgive.

Me: What? What are you talking about?

Friend: You must forgive!

Me: Forgive who?

Friend: Only you would know. Look deep within your heart.

Me: I am sure that I have pretty much forgiven whoever…

Friend: There is something that you are holding back – something that you are withholding from Him.

Me: What are you talking about?

Friend: Do you deny it?

“And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” Luke22:34

Me: No. How can I deny anything as I see Him praying with such grief of heart. He knows what He is about to face, and I know it is because of me.

Friend: And the reason He wants you to open your heart is because of His love for you. You will never be able to open your heart unless you forgive.

Me: I know there is that thing inside of my heart, it seems so deep, I don’t know if I am able to find it. I don’t know if I want to find it.

It seems that there is a door, but the key is lost – I am unable to open it – I am convinced I don’t want to open it.

Friend: Why do you think you don’t want to open that part of your heart?

Me: I don’t know, but it seems shrouded in fear, I seem to be almost terrified to open it up.

Friend: What are you afraid of?

Me; I don’t know! Maybe I am afraid of reliving the hurts that others have caused me, or maybe I am afraid there are those who I don’t want to forgive.

Sometimes it is too painful to face the fact that someone could hurt you so deeply. You almost take solace in the fact that you hold something over them, by not forgiving them.

He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” Matt 26:42

Friend: Those who you don’t want to forgive? Who are they?

Me: I don’t know.

Friend: Are you sure?

Me: I said, I don’t know!

Friend: Would you like me to give you a little time alone…

Me: No, No. Please, I don’t want to be alone. I’m sorry. I will try, I want to open my heart, but I need help.

Jesus, help me to open my heart to you! I don’t want to have this pain, this fear, this weight inside of me.

I see you alone and in agony before the Father – please help me in my agony!

Friend: Please – you must forgive.

Me: I know, I know. But there are those…the hurt is so deep, I guess I don’t want to forgive them.

Friend: You don’t want to forgive them?

Me: I guess I still want this anger toward them – I don’t want to let it go. They don’t deserve forgiveness, you have no idea what they have done to me. It almost makes me feel good to be angry at them – they deserve it!

Friend: So you don’t want Jesus to forgive you?

Me: What are you talking about?

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Matt 26:41

Friend: How many times have you hurt Him? Do you deserve to have Jesus forgive you?

Do you remember how many times He forgave you? Maybe we should go through all those times…

Me: No, no. Let’s not do that. I know you are right, I do not deserve His mercy and love.

But I need help! My heart is so heavy, it seems impossible for me to open my heart and let go.

Friend: Let go, and give your heart to Him.

“…and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing” Matt 26:44

Me: Jesus! I give you my heart, I am unable to bear it any longer, I am unable to carry it any longer.

I cannot open this heart on my own, I seem to have lost the key, and it seems the door is too heavy.

I lift my heart, it is too heavy for me to lift it up very high – You must do the rest.

It is done: I have let go.

Friend: Forgive, my dear friend.

Me: I forgive…I see their faces…I forgive. I let go of the anger, I cannot see Jesus alone in Gethsemane in His agony, and hold on to this anger anymore.

I forgive, I didn’t realize there were so many, I forgive. I weight is lifting, I forgive.

Friend: You are still holding back.

Me: I know. I now realize that I have hated them for so long, without even knowing it. Hate that I never knew was there. I now see that this hate was the great weight inside of me.

Friend: Were they your enemies?

Me: No, the opposite. They were my friends. You expect your enemies to do you harm, that’s a given.

It’s the ones who are close to you, the ones you trust; they are the ones who hurt you the most.

Those are the ones, aren’t they? The ones deep inside my heart, the ones who have hurt me the most – Jesus help me to let go!

I FORGIVE! I LET GO! I WILL HATE THEM NO MORE!

The weight is lifting…

Friend: Now you must pray for them. This will free you from destructive feelings, and this will begin the healing in your heart.

By praying for them you become an agent of healing.

Me: How must I pray for those who hurt others so easily?

Friend: By praying the same way Jesus is praying now: unselfishly pray that they may see the Father’s love and open their hearts.

Do you remember Job? The Father brought him out of His desert. He also prayed for those who caused great pain in his heart.

Me: To forgive is one thing; to pray for them is another!

Friend: “I want to look deep into the heart of Jesus, and get lost it.” Is this your prayer?

Please, look at Him pouring out His heart to the Father, see Him in His agony – watch Him resign to the will of the Father because of His love for you. If you get lost in the heart of Jesus, you will be overwhelmed in His mercy and love.

Me: I will not fight it anymore. I will pray for them.

Dear Father, I pray for them. I pray they may see your great love as I see your Son in the Garden of Gethsemane giving His heart to You, to do your will.

May they surrender to your will, and may they find your love and peace, so that they may turn away from those things that will destroy them.

I surrender to your will, I surrender my heart.

I want to look deep

into the heart of Jesus,

and get lost it.

To be continued…

Is there a place for me…in the Garden of the Lord?

Me: It’s awfully dry in the desert today. I try to get by, sitting in the shade, and drinking what little I have left in my water bottle.

Might you have the time? Sorry, I really don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter anyway.

I have been in the desert for so long, I have forgotten that there is anything else but the desert. I mean, you do get used to things. You do get used to going without.

It just gets so hot, at times I forget what it means not to be in the desert. My heart and my mind seem parched; my heart seems as though it has dried as hard as a rock, and my mind…well, let’s say I might have some problems being coherent at times.

There is a temptation to surrender to the desert – you feel that this is all there is – and you wonder if it does any good to fight it.

Not that I haven’t tried to get out of this God-forsaken place. I have prayed and believed. I have tried to change my circumstances. I have done everything to push and hurry it along. I have stood on so many promises. There have been so many times I have tried to end this desert experience.

But, I am still here.

There are footprints of those who ventured out of the desert, but I don’t know what happened to them. Did they get out? Did they make it? Are they OK? I don’t know. No one ever comes back.

You hold on to what you have, because you are afraid of losing anything else. You are even afraid of losing your spot in the desert – at least you know where you are, and you have, well, your own spot.

I guess my heart forgets to pray. My mind has become lazy – I forget to read the Bible. One day goes by, and then the other, until your regular time with the Lord becomes very irregular.

What I’m I to do? It’s hard at times to go to Church while your in the desert. You feel so out of place, and sometimes you don’t seem to fit in. People seem not to want to be around you when things go wrong – they are gone when you need them the most.

You lose so much, you feel like you are going to drown in nothingness.

Who will help me? Will someone lead me out of this desert? Please Lord! Help me!

Whoa! Who are you?

Friend: A friend.

Me: I have never seen you around here before – how did you get here?

Friend: You prayed for help, didn’t you?

Me: Why…yes!

Friend: I am here to help you out of the desert to the abundance that Christ has prepared for you.

Me: I am ready! Let’s go! You can’t believe how long I have waited here, I’ll just grab my stuff…

Friend: We can start right now right where you are, without going anywhere.

Me: What are you talking about? Are you kidding me? It’s so hot and dry…let’s get to that abundance you’re talking about!

Friend: This path out of the desert is through the heart of Christ.

Me: I don’t understand. I just want out of this desert!

Friend: There is a purpose for our time in the desert. The desert is to lead us to the heart of Christ, and the abundance of His love.

I seems as though you are only concerned about an exit strategy, that you seem to shy away from Him.

Me: What are you talking about? I love the Lord, are you kidding me?

Friend: Then why are your prayers only about getting out of the desert? You do pray this incessantly. You seem to ignore everything else; even your closeness and love with Him.

Me: I don’t know, I think I have let my heart get dry and cold.

Friend: Is there anything else?

Me: I see that I sometimes doubt that He loves me. Why am I in this desert? I think I shy away because it seems like He is punishing me.

Friend: Jesus wants you to cling to His heart, and live in the abundance of His love.

Me: I want that abundance! Why am I in this desert?

Friend: As we walk through the desert, we understand the “desert” Jesus walked through for us. Of course we are reminded of His desert experience of 40 days and the resultant temptation. But there is a path that we must walk while in the desert, and this path is the Passion of Christ. We walk with Jesus as He agonizes in Gethsemane, the lashes He endured for us, His crown of thorns, the carrying of His cross and His crucifixion.

Me: But why must I do this?

Friend: As we walk with Jesus through His Passion, we take part in a special way to taste what Christ suffered for us. We understand in a much deeper way the love of Christ for us.

Me: But why do I need the desert for this -

Friend: The desert leads us to Him, as we begin to hunger and thirst for Him. We see in all this barrenness the fountain of His love, forgiveness and blessing. All distractions are being laid aside, sin is confronted…

Me: Sin! Are you saying that there is sin in my life? Look buddy, you don’t even know me, how dare you…

Friend: Whoa – take it easy! Are you telling me that you are sinless?

Me: Well, no.

Friend: I am not talking about condemning yourself, or wallowing in constant wrangling over sin. What I am talking about is letting the Holy Spirit examine our hearts to see if there is any sin we are holding on to, instead of dealing with it. He doesn’t do this to condemn us, He does this because He loves us. There is no fear in His love…

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: We can open our hearts to the Father, unafraid. He already knows what’s there. He has us deal with this stuff so that we may have true abundance. We are unable to enjoy His love if we harbor unforgiveness, anger, greed or lust.

Me: I understand. I guess sometimes I am afraid to look at my faults or my sins because I think He will never let me out of this desert.

Friend: It was His heart of love that lead Him to the Cross, and it is through His heart that you will find your path out of the desert. As we walk with Him in His passion, we let Him help us:

“throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ” Heb 12:1,2.

Me: My heart needs to love again! I have been so involved in my circumstances, I have forgotten to love Him.

Friend: It is through His heart of love that we walk with Him in His Passion, and it is through His heart of love that we walk His path to His resurrection. His heart holds the depths of His love in His triumph and Victory! He raises us to new life! He fills us with His abundance so that our desert is turned into the Garden of the Lord!

Me: How do I start, at times when my heart is so heavy? I don’t think I have the strength. I also carry a lot of hurts – people can be so cruel when you are down.

Friend: You must call to Him, to open your eyes to see and understand His heart. He wants you to! Even if you don’t think you have the strength – the Father will give you all the grace you need. He will strengthen you, all you need to do is ask. We must understand that wants to do this – this is your entrance out of the desert to the Garden of the Lord:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matt 7:7,8

Me: I will do this…I will do this now. I will use this entrance out of the desert…Jesus, open my eyes to see and understand your heart…

to be continued…

More articles of interest:

Scripture Podcast, Judas & links – The Anchoress

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke 14-15 Friday, 16-17 Saturday, 18-19 Palm Sunday

I Remember…When a Stop Sign Changed my Life

A Stop sign. We see them all the time. They can be pretty annoying, but they do have their purpose. We will get a ticket if we don’t stop, or may get into something much worse: an accident. Stop signs are as important as getting unhindered to our destination.

God speaks to us at the Stop signs of life. There is a time when we must stop, take a moment, and listen.

That’s what happened to me; God spoke to me at a Stop sign. I still remember that evening when I was 18, and driving home alone. The same Stop sign I have driven through countless times. An ordinary place. But this time the Father takes the ordinary and transforms it into a Heavenly encounter.

But first let me share some events that lead me to this now, very special place. A place that changed my life forever.

I remember as a senior in high school, my dad came up to me and said, “Son, you have got to find out what you are going to do with your life, because you ain’t going to make a living on prayer!” As an atheist, my dad didn’t quite appreciate my faith.

“What am I going to do with my life?” was the question that kept going through my mind, as I frantically tried to figure out what God could have in store for me.

I went on a three day prayer and fast. I didn’t end up seeing a message written in the sky, and I didn’t have a prophet stop by the house to give me a revelation. I just plodded through my senior year, looking at different vocations, trying to find the right “fit.”

A good friend in youth group informed me about a position at the Cathedral Prayer Group. The church I went to at the time was the Cathedral of Tomorrow, and both were a part of Rex Humbard’s ministry. (He had a world-wide television ministry at the time). This would be a paid position in answering calls and praying with people for their needs.

As I remember interviewing for the position. I could see that I did all the wrong things. Here I was, a Jesus freak, with long hair and a free spirit. I needed a shave, wore bell-bottom jeans, and a windbreaker. I didn’t even look like I wanted the job, because I thought she wouldn’t hire someone straight out of high school. I just did the interview, just to do the interview.

As it turned out, I got the job. No one was more surprised than me. I became convinced that if God opens the door, there is no one that can shut it; and if He wants you somewhere, you will get there.

I can still remember trying to explain my new position to my dad. It took some time for him to understand that I got a job where I made my “living on prayer.”

This new job became of great significance in my life. It kept my dad scratching his head, trying to figure how you could make a living on prayer. It helped me to grow as a Christian and grow in the awareness of Christ using me for ministry. And, oh, by the way: there was this new hire that relieved my desk for the next shift. She was this beautiful young lady named Leona.

The first thing you would notice about Leona was her long beautiful hair. Ash brown in color it went all the way down to her bu…I mean her rea…I mean all the way down to her waist. Her green eyes were captivating, and she had a winsome smile.

It took a little time for me, but I finally asked her out for a date. Our first date consisted of getting a little lost on a hike at a national park and hitchhiking back to the car. Our second was to a Christian coffee house and I think Pizza Hut. (I will always remember her saying she was done after eating two slices of pizza, and was I excited that the rest of the large supreme was mine. But Leona started picking at that beautiful pizza, a mushroom here and a piece of sausage there. I was having anxiety attacks as I saw the pizza toppings dwindling before me. I remained cool, but not calm. I am Hungarian, and it means something you know).

And as it happens when a couple falls in love, we eventually started to spend all of our available time together. We enjoyed spending time doing the simplest things together, from taking walks to talking hours at a time.

You know, come to think of it, I have never asked Leona to marry me. But I do remember when I came to the point thinking she was the one. I started committing this to prayer, and I could feel a deep struggle from within me. What if Leona was not the Lord’s will for me?

I remember when the struggle came to the point where I had to surrender to the will of the Father. I was on lunch break at work. I sat down in the break room alone, reading from the book of Matthew. I was lead to the passage about giving up everything. taking up our cross, and following Him. I felt the Father wanting me to surrender her to His will.

There was a deep struggle inside me – I wanted to marry this girl, and I didn’t want to give her up. But I finally did it. I gave her to the hands of God, and gave our relationship to his will. Now it was up to Him whether she was the one or not.

The second that I surrendered to His will, I immediately felt a rush of peace.

Then the Lord lead me to Matthew:

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

I knew Leona was the one for me.

The next day we had a get-together, and I shared this experience with a good friend. Leona noticed how I kept it low key, and that got her curiosity. Well, before I left for home she wouldn’t leave me alone until I told her. But how do you explain it, how do you to tell someone the Lord told you she was the one?

I told her the story; and then I said, “I prayed if you were the one for me, and I believe the Lord told me, “yes.”

Silence. It seemed like forever. I was getting a little nervous. Then I asked: “What do you think?”

Leona said, “I’m all for it.” And that was that.

I went home and thought nothing of it until the next day. Then it hit me: Did I ask her to marry me? Am I engaged? I guess so. We never talked about it again, we just assumed we would marry. (I did get a ring from a bubble gum machine, and I later sold my bass guitar to buy wedding bands).

I found the one whom I would share my the rest of my life with, and I was a happy guy.

But someone was not happy, and actually, was not happy at all. Mom was very unhappy about Leona, and my relationship with her (please read my Blog, “If You Missed it: I Remembered When…My Mom Wanted me Dead” to understand my Mom a little bit more). It seemed obvious that she considered Leona as the enemy. I guess it didn’t really hit me at first as to the true reason why.

It all started when my mom realized that Leona and I were getting serious. She would talk with me, trying to discourage me from pursuing my relationship with her. She once tried to stop me from seeing Leona by hiding my car keys. She even made the attempt to recruit my dad for the cause, but surprisingly, he backed me up.

The first encounter that Leona had with my Mom was when she telephoned me at home. As the phone was ringing, my mom got to the phone first (that gal was quick!), and when she found out it was Leona – whoa! Instead of informing me about the call, she took the opportunity to tell Leona what she thought of her.

I later asked Leona what my mom said, but she told me very little, and didn’t want to repeat the rest. Let me just say from what little Leona did tell me, I was blown away: I never knew my mom could say such things.

My mom saw her life changing, and she saw her plans changing. As the oldest, she depended on me in dealing with an alcoholic husband who was an absentee father. I also helped with my younger brother and sister, being more of a fatherly influence than my dad.

But I came to realize that there was much more. My mom wanted to divorce my father for years, and planned to have me take care of her. She was determined that nothing would interfere with her plans, and especially a young lady who was after her son.

Oh yeah, about that Stop sign. I guess all of us wish we could drive on the road without anything to stop us, but we know that it would be impossible. We would end up killing each other! The same thing can be said about the Stop signs of life: we need to take the time to stop, pause, and listen.

I still remember that evening when I was 18, and driving home alone. It’s the same Stop sign I have driven through countless times. A very ordinary place. But this time the Father takes the ordinary and transforms it into a Heavenly encounter.

As I stopped, I heard God’s voice. I knew it was God; it wasn’t an audible voice, but it was a voice that I never experienced before. It wasn’t an impression, or even a feeling. It was a definite voice – I can’t explain it.

What did God say to me? He wanted me to leave my parent’s home and go out on my own. But not only that, He emphasized that I had to do it, and as quickly as possible.

You might think, “What’s the big deal?” It was a huge deal. My family needed me – they depended on me. I felt the weight of my responsibility, and the prospect of leaving them would tear my heart apart.

I would not have left my parent’s home. The guilt would have been overwhelming. It took that experience at the Stop sign to urge me – to command me – to go out on my own.

As I was packing my things, my mother, brother, and sister begged me not to leave. I can’t express the struggle that I had inside. Looking back, I don’t think I could have gone through with it unless I knew it was what I was supposed to do.

That night as I laid in bed in my new home (I rented the upstairs of a house), I waited for the onslaught of guilt to overwhelm me because of leaving my family.

Have you ever had so much peace that it troubled you? I experienced so much peace, as if it had enveloped me. It was impossible for me to even feel guilty. I tried! I couldn’t comprehend this feeling of peace when I expected the torture of guilt.

The Father blessed me with the assurance that I did the right thing.

Well, you guessed it – we were married and very happy! But Mom wasn’t happy. She immediately exerted herself into a position of influence and control. She worked to position herself to pit me against Leona. It was difficult at first, because at that time I regarded my mother like a saint. She was the one who sacrificed herself in raising us in spite of an absentee alcoholic father.

Of all the decisions I made throughout our married life, one of the most important was the recognition of Gen 2:24:

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

I determined that Leona would come before my Mom. I was to honor my parents, but I must also cling to my wife, as we submitted to each other in love. Leona had to be number one in my life, and I could not let my mom come between us.

This one decision saved our marriage from a lot of grief, and forged us together as a couple. But it also worked for the good regarding my mom. She realized this was to be, and it wasn’t going to change.

We were just kids – all we had was each other, and our faith in Christ. And we lived happily ever-after. The butterflies were flittering about us, birds would come and sing about our love, and mom fell in line and was a great joy to live with.

Are you kidding me?

Marriage is a blast, but man, it’s hard work! How do you describe two people fully convinced that they are right, and are fully committed that Leona…I mean…the other should completely understand that?

Love is hard work, but it’s worth it. Ah, our newlywed years: more of Leona, me, mom – and Leona’s mom.. Another time, another Blog.

Oh yeah; back to that Stop sign. If I didn’t stop, listen, and obey, I am not sure about the direction I would have taken in my life. Even though Stop signs can be annoying, and you want to cruise along without slowing down or stopping – you had better stop at the Stop signs if you want to get there at all.

Please don’t despise the Stop signs in your life. Use them effectively to pause and listen to God’s voice, learn from the past, and pursue the road before you.

The First Station:
Jesus Is Condemned To Death

My Jesus, the world still has You on trial. It keeps asking who You are and why You make the demands You make. It asks over and over the question, If You are God’s Son, why do You permit the world to be in the state it is in? Why are You so silent?

Though the arrogance of the world angers me, I must admit that silently, in the depths of my soul, I too have these questions. Your humility frustrates me and makes me uncomfortable. Your strength before Pilate as You drank deeply from the power of the Father, gives me the answer to my question – The Father’s Will. The Father permits many sufferings in my life but it is all for my good. If only I too could be silent in the face of worldly prudence – steadfast in the faith when all seems lost – calm when accused unjustly – free from tyranny of human respect – ready to do the Father’s Will no matter how difficult.

Silent Jesus, give us all the graces we need to stand tall in the face of the ridicule of the world. Give the poor the strength not to succumb to their privation but to be ever aware of their dignity as sons of God. Grant that we might not bend to the crippling disease of worldly glory but be willing to be deprived of all things rather than lose Your friendship. My Jesus, though we are accused daily of being fools, let the vision of Quiet Dignity standing before Monstrous Injustice, give us all the courage to be Your followers.

Amen

The Second Station:
Jesus Carries His Cross

How could any human impose such a burden upon Your torn and bleeding body, Lord Jesus? Each movement of the cross drove the thorns deeper into Your Head. How did You keep the hatred from welling up in Your Heart? How did the injustice of it all not ruffle your peace? The Father’s Will was hard on You – Why do I complain when it is hard on me?

I see injustice and am frustrated and when my plans to alleviate it seems futile, I despair. When I see those burdened with poverty suffer ever more and cross is added to cross my heart is far from serene. I utterly fail to see the dignity of the cross as it is carried with love. I would so much rather be without it.

My worldly concept is that suffering, like food, should be shared equally. How ridiculous I am, dear Lord. Just as we do not all need the same amount of material food, neither do we need the same amount of spiritual food and that is what the cross is in my life, isn’t it – spiritual food proportional to my needs.

Amen

The Third Station:
Jesus Falls the First Time

My Jesus, it seems to me, that as God, You would have carried Your cross without faltering, but You did not. You fell beneath it’s weight to show me You understand when I fall. Is it pride that makes me want to shine even in pain? You were not ashamed to fall- to admit the cross was heavy. There are those in world whom my pride will not tolerate as I expect everyone to be strong, yet I am weak. I am ashamed to admit failure in anything.

If the Father permits failure in my life just as He permitted You to fall, then I must know there is good in that failure which my mind will never comprehend. I must not concentrate on the eyes of others as they rest upon me in my falls. Rather, I must reach up to touch that invisible hand and drink in that invisible strength ever at my side.

Weak Jesus, help all men who try so hard to be good but whose nature is constantly opposed to them walking straight and tall down the narrow road of life. Raise their heads to see the glory that is to come rather than the misery of the present moment.

Your love for me gave You strength to rise from Your fall. Look upon all those whom the world considers unprofitable servants and give them the courage to be more concerned as to how they stand before You, rather than their fellowmen.

Amen

The Fourth Station:
Jesus Meets His Afflicted Mother

My Jesus, it was a great sorrow to realize Your pain caused Mary so much grief. As Redeemer, You wanted her to share in Your pain for mankind. When You glanced at each other in unutterable suffering, what gave you both the courage to carry on without the least alleviation – without anger at such injustice?

It seems as if you desired to suffer every possible pain to give me an example of how to suffer when my time comes. What a humiliation for You when Your mother saw you in such a pitiable state – weak – helpless – at the mercy of sinful men – holiness exposed to evil in all hideousness.

Did every moment of that short encounter seem like an eternity? As I see so much suffering in the world, there are times I think it is all hopeless. There is an element of lethargy in my prayers for mankind that says “I’ll pray, but what good will it do? The sick grow sicker and the hungry starve. ” I think of that glance between You and Mary – the glance that said, “Let us give this misery to the Father for the salvation of souls. The Father’s power takes our pain and frustration and renews souls, saves them for a new life – a life of eternal joy, eternal happiness. It is worth it all.” Give perseverance to the sick so they can carry the cross of frustration and agony with love and resignation for the salvation of others.

Amen

The Fifth Station:
Simon Helps Jesus Carry His Cross

My Jesus, Your tormentors enlisted a Simon of Cyrene to help You carry Your cross. Your humility is beyond my comprehension. Your power upheld the whole universe and yet You permit one of Your creatures to help You carry a cross. I imagine Simon was reluctant to take part in Your shame. He had no idea that all who watched and jeered at him would pass into oblivion while his name would go down in history and eternity as the one who helped his God in need. Is it not so with me, dear Jesus? Even when I reluctantly carry my cross as Simon did, it benefits my soul.

If I keep my eyes on You and watch how You suffered, I will be able to bear my cross with greater fortitude. Were you trying to tell all those who suffer from prejudice to have courage? Was Simon a symbol of all those who are hated because of race, color and creed?

Simon wondered as he took those beams upon his shoulders, why he was chosen for such a heavy burden and now he knows. Help me Jesus, to trust your loving Providence as you permit suffering to weave itself in and out of my life. Make me understand that You looked at it and held it fondly before You passed it on to me. You watch me and give me strength just as You did Simon. When I enter Your Kingdom, I shall know as he knows, what marvels Your Cross has wrought in my soul.

Amen

The Sixth Station:
Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus

My Jesus, where were all the hundreds of peoples whose bodies and souls were healed by you? Where were they when You needed someone to give You the least sign of comfort? Ingratitude must have borne down upon Your heart and made the cross nearly impossible to carry. There are times I too feel all my efforts for Your Kingdom are futile and end in nothingness. Did your eyes roam through the crowd for the comfort of just one individual – one sign of pity – one sign of grief?

My heart thrills with a sad joy when I think of one woman, breaking away from fear and human respect and offeringYou her thin veil to wipe Your bleeding Face. Your loving heart, ever watching for the least sign of love, imprinted the Image of your torn Face upon it! How can You forget Yourself so completely and reward such a small act of kindness?

I must admit, I have been among those who were afraid to know You rather than like Veronica. She did not care if the whole world knew she loved You. Heartbroken Jesus, give me that quality of the soul so necessary to witness to spread Your Word – to tell all people of Your love for them. Send many into Your Vineyard so the people of all nations may receive the Good News. Imprint Your Divine Image upon my soul and let the thin veil of my human nature bear a perfect resemblance to your loving Spirit.

Amen

The Seventh Station:
Jesus Falls A Second Time

My Jesus, one of the beautiful qualities the people admired in You was Your strength in time of ridicule – Your ability to rise above the occasion. But now, You fall a second time – apparently conquered by the pain of the Cross. People who judged You by appearances made a terrible mistake. What looked like weakness was unparalleled strength!

I often judge by appearances and how wrong I am most of the time. The world judges entirely by this fraudulent method of discerning. It looks down upon those who apparently have given their best and are now in need. It judges the poor as failures, the sick as useless and the aged as a burden. How wrong that kind of judgment is in the light of your second fall! Your greatest moment wasYour weakest one. Your greatest triumph was in failure. Your greatest act of love was in desolation. Your greatest show of power was in that utter lack of strength that threw You to the ground.

Weak and powerful Jesus, give me the grace to see beyond what is visible and be more aware of Your Wisdom in the midst of weakness. Give the aged, sick, handicapped, retarded, deaf and blind the fruit of joy so they may ever be aware of the Father’s gift and the vast difference between what the world sees and what the Father sees that they may glory in their weakness so the power of God may be manifest.

Amen

The Eighth Station:
Jesus Speaks to the Holy Women

My Jesus, I am amazed at Your compassion for others in Your time of need. When I suffer, I have a tendency to think only of myself but You forgot Yourself completely. When You saw the holy women weeping over Your torments, You consoled them and taught them to look deeper into Your Passion. You wanted them to understand that the real evil to cry over was the rejection You suffered from the Chosen people – a people set apart from every other nation, who refused to accept God’s Son.

The Act of Redemption would go on and no one would ever be able to take away Your dignity as Son of God, but the evil, greed, jealousy and ambition in the hearts of those who should have recognized You was the issue to grieve over. To be so close to God made man and miss Him completely was the real crime.

My Jesus, I fear I do the same when I strain gnats and then swallow camels – when I take out the splinter in my brother’s eye and forget the beam in my own. It is such a gift – this gift of faith. It is such a sublime grace to possess Your own Spirit. Why haven’t I advanced in holiness of life? I miss the many disguises you take upon Yourself and see only people, circumstances and human events, not the loving hand of the Father guiding all things. Help all those who are discouraged, sick, lonely and old to recognize Your Presence in their midst.

Amen

The Ninth Station:
Jesus Falls the Third Time

My Jesus, even with the help of Simon You fell a third time. Were You telling me that there may be times in my life that I will fall again and again despite the help of friends and loved ones? There are times when the crosses You permit in my life are more than I can bear. It is as if all the sufferings of a life time are suddenly compressed into the present moment and it is more than I can stand.

Though it grieves my heart to see You so weak and helpless, it is a comfort to my soul to know that you understand my sufferings from Your own experience. Your love for me made You want to experience every kind of pain just so I could have someone to look to for example and courage.

When I cry out from the depths of my soul, “This suffering is more than I can bear,” do You whisper, “Yes, I understand”? When I am discouraged after many falls, do you say in my innermost being, “Keep going, I know how hard it is to rise”?

There are many people who are sorely tried in body and soul with alcohol and drug weaknesses who try and try and fall again and again. Through the humiliation of this third fall, give them the courage and perseverance to take up their cross and follow you.

Amen

The Tenth Station:
Jesus is Stripped of His Garments

It seems that every step to Calvary brought You fresh humiliation, my Jesus. How Your sensitive nature recoiled at being stripped before a crowd of people. You desired to leave this life as You entered it – completely detached from all the comforts of this world. You want me to know without a doubt that you loved me with an unselfish love. Your love for me caused You nothing but pain and sorrow. You gave everything and received nothing in return. Why do I find it so hard to be detached?

In your loving mind, dear Jesus, did You look up to the Father as You stood there on that windy hill, shivering from cold and shame and trembling from fear, and ask Him to have mercy on those who would violate their purity and make love a mockery? Did you ask forgiveness for those whose greed would make them lie, cheat and steal for a few pieces of cold silver?

Forgive us all, dear Jesus. Look upon the world with pity, for mankind has lost its way and the principles of this world make lust a fun game and luxury a necessity. Detachment has become merely another hardship of the poor and obedience the fault of the weak. Have mercy on us and grant the people of this day the courage to see and know themselves and the light to change.

Amen

The Eleventh Station:
Jesus is Nailed to the Cross

It is hard to imagine a God being nailed to a cross by His own creatures. It is even more difficult for my mind to understand a love that permitted such a thing to happen! As those men drove heavy nails into Your hands and feet, dear Jesus, did You offer the pain as reparation for some particular human weakness and sin? Was the nail in Your right hand for those who spend their lives in dissipation and boredom?

Was the nail in Your left hand in reparation for all consecrated souls who live lukewarm lives? Were You stretching out Your arms to show us how much You love us? As the feet that walked the hot, dusty roads were nailed fast, did they cramp up in a deadly grip of pain to make reparation for all those who so nimbly run the broad road of sin and self-indulgence?

It seems, dear Jesus, Your love has held You bound hand and foot as Your heart pleads for a return of love. You seem to shout from the top of the hill “I love you – come to me – see, I am held fast – I cannot hurt you – only you can hurt Me.” How very hard is the heart that can see such love and turn away. Is it not true I too have turned away when I did not accept the Father’s Will with love? Teach me to keep my arms ever open to love, to forgive and to render service – willing to be hurt rather than hurt, satisfied to love and not be loved in return.

Amen

The Twelfth Station:
Jesus Dies on the Cross

God is dead! No wonder the earth quaked, the sun hid itself, the dead rose and Mary stood by in horror. Your human body gave up it’s soul in death but Your Divinity, dear Jesus, continued to manifest its power. All creation rebelled as the Word made Flesh departed from this world. Man alone was too proud to see and too stubborn to acknowledge truth.

Redemption was accomplished! Man would never have an excuse to forget how much You loved him. The thief on Your right saw something he could not explain – he saw a man on a tree and knew He was God. His need made him see his own guilt and Your innocence. The Promise of eternal life made the remaining hours of his torture. endurable.

A common thief responded to Your love with deep Faith, Hope, and Love. He saw more than his eyes envisioned – he felt a Presence he could not explain and would not argue with. He was in need and accepted the way God designed to help him.

Forgive our pride, dear Jesus as we spend hours speculating, days arguing and often a lifetime in rejecting Your death, which is a sublime mystery. Have pity on those whose intelligence leads them to pride because they never feel the need to reach out to the Man of Sorrows for consolation.

Amen

The Thirteenth Station:
Jesus is Taken Down From the Cross

My Jesus, it was with deep grief that Mary finally took You into her arms and saw all the wounds sin had inflicted upon You. Mary Magdalene looked upon Your dead Body with horror. Nicodemus, the man so full of human respect, who came to You by night, suddenly received the courage to help Joseph take you down from the Cross. You are once more surrounded by only a few followers. When loneliness and failure cross my path, let me think of this lonely moment and this total failure – failure in the eyes of men. How wrong they were – how mistaken their concept of success! The greatest act of love was given in desolation and the most successful mission accomplished and finished when all seemed lost. Is this not true in my life, dear Jesus? I judge my failures harshly. I demand perfection instead of holiness. My idea of success is for all to end well – according to my liking.

Give to all men the grace to see that doing Your Will is more important than success. If failure is permitted for my greater good then teach me how to use it to my advantage. Let me say as You once said, that to do the Will of the Father is my food. Let not the standards of this world take possession of me or destroy the good You have set for me – to be Holy and to accomplish the Father’s Will with great love. Let me accept praise or blame, success or failure with equal serenity.

Amen

The Fourteenth Station:
Jesus is Laid in the Sepulcher

My Jesus, You were laid to rest in a stranger’s tomb. You were born with nothing of this world’s goods and You died detached from everything. When You came into the world, men slept and angels sang and now as You leave it, Creation is silent and only a few weep. Both events were clothed in obscurity. The majority of men live in such a way. Most of us live and die knowing and known by only a few. Were You trying to tell us, dear Jesus, how very important our lives are just because we are accomplishing the Father’s Will? Will we ever learn the lesson of humility that makes us content with who we are, where we are and what we are?

Will our Faith ever be strong enough to see power in weakness and good in the sufferings of our lives? Will our Hope be trusting enough to rely on Your Providence even when we have nowhere to lay our head? Will our Love ever be strong enough not to take scandal in the cross?

My Jesus, hide my soul in Your heart as You lie in the Sepulcher alone. Let my heart be as a fire to keep you warm. Let my desire to know and love You be like a torch to light up the darkness. Let my soul sing softly a hymn of repentant love as the hours pass and Your Resurrection is at hand. Let me rejoice, dear Jesus, with all the Angels in a hymn of praise and thanksgiving for so great a love- so great a God- so great a day!

Amen

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke Chapter 13 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

My Little Girl and Thunderstorms

Why are we afraid of thunderstorms? I don’t know. I guess if you were near a lightening strike and could smell the electricity in the air, I think fear is a pretty good response. The power of thunder shaking things around you can make one feel unsettled, and the pounding of the winds and rain can cause one to wonder if the sun will shine again. And then again, it could be the apprehension of the unexpected. The not knowing. The not knowing whether it will be severe, when it will strike, and what the aftermath will be like.

But I think we are afraid of thunderstorms because we forget to sit on our Father’s lap.

My little girl is afraid of thunderstorms, and at times you could probably say she is downright terrified of them. Well, I should clarify; my little girl is 18 now, and was terrified by thunderstorms as a little girl – or maybe she still is, but she is old enough to hide it.

I remember those days, when Krissy would be fearful of the whole thing. If she heard the warning of severe weather from the Emergency Broadcast System on the Weather Channel (though we tried to remember to turn down the volume!), she would get sucked in, and the fear thing would start. She became overwhelmed by the whole affair.

You know, it is interesting when your child is afraid. They will keep their eyes on you without you knowing it – constantly watching if you are afraid. Krissy would do that, her eyes following me, constantly watching my face. I could see her trying to detect any fear in my eyes. I think she was trying to see the storm through me.

One of the best things that ever happened to alleviate her fears was the buying of a computer and connecting to the internet. I could show evidence that the storm had passed by looking at the weather satellite picture. Of course I never wanted to show her that feature if the storm was coming right at us. Some things are better to just go through it, instead of just anticipating it.

Sometimes I would stop and wonder why. Why? Why is she so afraid of thunderstorms? Her brothers were never afraid of thunderstorms, and were quite calm when one passed by. They actually loved watching the beauty of lightening in the sky, the rumble of the thunder, the power of the winds blowing through, and the deluge of rain creating puddles to jump through.

Could it be because of her active imagination? She is a very creative, very intelligent person – could she be held captive to her imagination in letting it take her along? I don’t know. Maybe.

I started to think about it more deeply. I thought about the boys, if we did something different, something that made a difference on how they perceived thunderstorms, and how Krissy saw them. Then it hit me. How could I have been so stupid?

I remembered when the boys were babies, I made it a point of taking them out on the porch, sitting them on my lap, and we experienced our first thunderstorm together. I wanted them to see that if I was completely calm and unafraid, they could also be completely calm and unafraid.

We would sit there, watching all the grandeur going by, and I would make comments on the beauty and power of God’s creation. I was defining the events, so that they could see the storm as I saw the storm.

For whatever reason, I never did that with Krissy. I mean, my little girl loved to sit on my lap, and of course during a thunderstorm. But I never sat her on my lap while she was a baby during a thunderstorm. How could I have been so stupid? I agonized over this.

But then something happened that changed everything for me. Several months ago, Krissy came home from high school, put her things down, saw me at the computer, looked at me, and without a word – just sat on my lap.

As she held me tight, I tried to comprehend what was happening. My little girl is now 18, and a High School senior. She has sat on my lap before while in high school, but I can’t remember her doing this in her senior year.

And as I hugged her, I started wondering if something happened in school. Could someone have hurt her? Did something happen to bring her any disappointment? Or was it simply, “a bad day?” But she gave a big sigh, and just completely relaxed. I could feel things were OK, and she was at rest.

I then realized this could be the last time my little girl would sit on my lap. Soon she will being going off to college, do whatever God has called her to do, get married, and then hold her own children on her lap. Dad will not be needed for that anymore, for she will be older and an adult – and adults don’t do such things.

I treasured every second. (I wonder, is it possible to treasure a millisecond?). I knew this was a very special time, and was only going to be for so long – I wanted the memory of this to stay with me forever.

She didn’t say a word, and she just seemed to be at total rest. I asked her if she was hungry (as a Hungarian father I constantly ask this question!) she said no, and that was that. She went to her room to do homework, and I continued writing.

I don’t know if she will ever tell me why she needed to sit on my lap, and she will never have to. I just treasured every second, remembering all the other times she sat on my lap when she was a little one, trying to hold all those moments, trying to keep them alive, and making sure that they were always carefully placed in my heart forever.

But then it came to me: maybe I wasn’t able to stop her from being afraid of thunderstorms, but she knew where to go if there was one. She knew she could sit on her daddy’s lap anytime when a storm passed by, to feel unafraid, and to be at peace. It would remind her of all the other times as a little one, the feeling of peace and security, knowing that if you were on your daddy’s lap, and had his arms around you – you were safe, and everything would be OK.

There are the thunderstorms of the heart and of the mind. What we think, and how we feel, determines how we perceive the events around us. If fear fills our hearts and minds, we see the wrong things. We see events for our hurt, instead of a loving Father who will always turn events around us for our good.

Our thinking and feelings must be determined in view of the love of God. We first must believe that the Father really does love us, and that He wants us to sit on His lap to watch the thunderstorm pass by. When we see the thunderstorm from His perspective, we are able to see His power and grandeur – instead of simply seeing lightening, wind, and rain.

The Holy Spirit helps us by giving us wings to Heaven, to Jesus, and through His very heart – to the lap of the Father, a place of security and rest.

I know I need to sit in my Father’s lap during the thunderstorms of the heart and mind. But I have a problem – I have no memories of sitting on my dad’s lap during my childhood. What do you do when you don’t know how to sit on your Father’s lap?

Just like any other child, we must learn to. We must trust the Father when He says he loves us – He gave His only Son for us, didn’t He? We might be hesitant as we approach Him, but we must approach Him. We might be afraid He will not let us on His lap, but He will. We may feel unlovable, but He will wrap His arms around us. Our job is just to rest in His love.

And as we watch the storm with the Father, we will see His power and grandeur – instead of simply seeing lightening, wind, and rain.

Luke 13

Repent or Perish

1 There were present at that season some who told Him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. 2 And Jesus answered and said to them, “Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered such things? 3 I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish. 4 Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, do you think that they were worse sinners than all other men who dwelt in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.”

The Parable of the Barren Fig Tree

6 He also spoke this parable: “A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. 7 Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’ 8 But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it. 9 And if it bears fruit, well. But if not, after that you can cut it down.’”

A Spirit of Infirmity

10 Now He was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. 11 And behold, there was a woman who had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bent over and could in no way raise herself up. 12 But when Jesus saw her, He called her to Him and said to her, “Woman, you are loosed from your infirmity.” 13 And He laid His hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God.
14 But the ruler of the synagogue answered with indignation, because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath; and he said to the crowd, “There are six days on which men ought to work; therefore come and be healed on them, and not on the Sabbath day.”

15 The Lord then answered him and said, “Hypocrite! Does not each one of you on the Sabbath loose his ox or donkey from the stall, and lead it away to water it? 16 So ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has bound—think of it—for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath?” 17 And when He said these things, all His adversaries were put to shame; and all the multitude rejoiced for all the glorious things that were done by Him.

The Parable of the Mustard Seed

18 Then He said, “What is the kingdom of God like? And to what shall I compare it? 19 It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and put in his garden; and it grew and became a large tree, and the birds of the air nested in its branches.”
The Parable of the Leaven

20 And again He said, “To what shall I liken the kingdom of God? 21 It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal till it was all leavened.”

The Narrow Way

22 And He went through the cities and villages, teaching, and journeying toward Jerusalem. 23 Then one said to Him, “Lord, are there few who are saved?”

And He said to them, 24 “Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able. 25 When once the Master of the house has risen up and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open for us,’ and He will answer and say to you, ‘I do not know you, where you are from,’ 26 then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in Your presence, and You taught in our streets.’ 27 But He will say, ‘I tell you I do not know you, where you are from. Depart from Me, all you workers of iniquity.’ 28 There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, and yourselves thrust out. 29 They will come from the east and the west, from the north and the south, and sit down in the kingdom of God. 30 And indeed there are last who will be first, and there are first who will be last.”

31 On that very day some Pharisees came, saying to Him, “Get out and depart from here, for Herod wants to kill You.”

32 And He said to them, “Go, tell that fox, ‘Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I shall be perfected.’ 33 Nevertheless I must journey today, tomorrow, and the day following; for it cannot be that a prophet should perish outside of Jerusalem.

Jesus Laments over Jerusalem

34 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing! 35 See! Your house is left to you desolate; and assuredly, I say to you, you shall not see Me until the time comes when you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the LORD!’”

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke Chapter 12 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. LK 12:22

A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones. Prov. 17:22

I know there are times when we are weighed down. There are situations that may seem impossible to overcome. Our hearts may hurt. But we must learn to laugh, even in situations when we find nothing to laugh about. When our hearts are weighed down, we must left them up to the Lord.

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by problems, our perspective gets skewed. It’s like we are holding our problems in front of our face, and we are not able to see anything else.

We are not able to see the Father who loves us, and holds us in His arms.

To laugh helps break the chains of focusing on our problems. And what better way to laugh than by laughing at ourselves.

Some of us are a little to full of ourselves. We have to look perfect. We are consumed by our image. We only feel good about ourselves when we are on top, looking down at others. Some will only laugh when it is directed at others.

But the Father desires us to have humility, and relax. One way to help break the chain of pride is to laugh at ourselves.

We are created in God’s image, and He wants us to develop a godly sense of humor!

How do we know God has a sense of humor? He made you, didn’t He? How do we know we have something to laugh about? Look in the mirror! OK, I’m just kidding! Take it easy. Man! All I’m saying is that some of you need to loosen up and laugh at yourself.

First thing, right now – look up and smile. It doesn’t matter what situation you are in, or how bad it is – you can look up at the Father and smile. Come on now, it won’t even cost you a buck. Look up to the One who loves you, and Who will smile back.

Second thing – pray that the Holy Spirit will show you some of the funny, embarrassing, stupid, idiotic things you have done. Didn’t your Lord get you through them? Are you OK now?

Third thing – laugh at yourself. Come on, can’t you laugh at yourself? Do you think you are “all that,” and you’re “to good” to laugh at yourself?

Would you rather have God laugh at you?

“The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoffs at them. Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath…” PS 2:4,5

“…but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming.” PS 37:13

It takes humility to laugh at ourselves, doesn’t it?

OK, I will humble myself and start the ball rolling. Lets see…there are so many funny, embarrassing, stupid, idiotic things that I have done. Well, there is one memory that always…

ALL NAMES WERE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE STUPID.

(You may doubt the veracity of this story you are about to read, but I attest that this story is true. I mean it. I mean really).

I think it was my Junior year in high school. Frank was driving us home from school in his ’67 Mercury Park Lane. This is when cars were all metal and this baby was as large as a tank.

Lets try to remember here: it was me, Frank, Steve, Billy, Martha, and Betty in the car, and we just dropped off Billy.

As Frank left the curb side and accelerated down the road, he exclaimed: “My brakes are out!” Though I must say he did exclaim this in a rather calm manner.

At first we didn’t take him seriously.

But there he was, repeatedly pushing down on the brake pedal, which gave all the way to the floor.

We were in a desperate situation. Here we were, driving down the street without brakes! And then it hit me. It was like…like…a light bulb – no an epiphany: Steve and I would jump out of the car and stop it with our bare hands.

This was so cool! Think about it: Steve and I stopping the car in front of the girls! It’s indescribable.

I shouted, “Jump!”

Steve later told me that he knew exactly what I was thinking. He quickly opened the door and jumped out.

I moved over to the door ready to jump out, when I looked back and saw Steve tumbling down the road. He actually tumbled several times, around and around. It did look kinda nasty.

I thought, “I’m not doing that!”

So I sat there with both my legs out of the car, and my feet dragging on the street. By now, the car picked up speed to 25MPH. Frank tried to put it into reverse, but the awful grinding persuaded him to put it back into neutral.

All of a sudden I saw Billy in his green Volkswagen Bug speeding by. (I later found out that Steve told Billy what happened after he stop tumbling). We saw him drive down the road, turn around, and parked his car in the middle of the road facing us.

He sat in his car, and with arms folded, smiled at us. This is true. Billy’s solution was to stop us with his car, and with him in it. Stop a Mercury Park Lane with a Volkswagen.

We went through a Stop sign.

I looked back, and saw Steve running as fast as he could to catch up. But he was too far behind…

So, with Billy in front of us and Steve running behind us, we tried to figure how to stop the car before crashing in to Billy.

And then Martha said something I will never forget – “Emergency brake!”

Well, the car stopped. We didn’t hit Billy, and Steve finally caught up to us winded, and with a hole in the knee of his pants.

It happened without two cool guys jumping out of the car and stopping it with their bare hands. Oh yea, and in front of the girls.

It was stopped because of a girl. Oh, well.

OK now, it’s your turn! Come on, you can do it! It doesn’t have to be an elaborate story, just share with us.

You need to laugh!

Are you telling me you haven’t done anything funny, embarrassing, stupid, or idiotic? Come on, can’t you laugh at yourself? Do you think you are “all that,” and you’re “to good” to laugh at yourself?

You’ll feel better! I mean it. I mean really…come on now!

Luke 12

Beware of Hypocrisy

1 In the meantime, when an innumerable multitude of people had gathered together, so that they trampled one another, He began to say to His disciples first of all, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. 2 For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. 3 Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.

Jesus Teaches the Fear of God

4 “And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. 5 But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!

6 “Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. 7 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Confess Christ Before Men

8 “Also I say to you, whoever confesses Me before men, him the Son of Man also will confess before the angels of God. 9 But he who denies Me before men will be denied before the angels of God.

10 “And anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but to him who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven.

11 “Now when they bring you to the synagogues and magistrates and authorities, do not worry about how or what you should answer, or what you should say. 12 For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.”

The Parable of the Rich Fool

13 Then one from the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

14 But He said to him, “Man, who made Me a judge or an arbitrator over you?” 15 And He said to them, “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.”

16 Then He spoke a parable to them, saying: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. 17 And he thought within himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?’ 18 So he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’

21 “So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”

Do Not Worry

22 Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. 23 Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. 24 Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? 25 And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 26 If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest? 27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?

29 “And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. 30 For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. 31 But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things[c] shall be added to you.

32 “Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell what you have and give alms; provide yourselves money bags which do not grow old, a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches nor moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
The Faithful Servant and the Evil Servant

35 “Let your waist be girded and your lamps burning; 36 and you yourselves be like men who wait for their master, when he will return from the wedding, that when he comes and knocks they may open to him immediately. 37 Blessed are those servants whom the master, when he comes, will find watching. Assuredly, I say to you that he will gird himself and have them sit down to eat, and will come and serve them. 38 And if he should come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so, blessed are those servants. 39 But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and[d] not allowed his house to be broken into. 40 Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”

41 Then Peter said to Him, “Lord, do You speak this parable only to us, or to all people?”

42 And the Lord said, “Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his master will make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of food in due season? 43 Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. 44 Truly, I say to you that he will make him ruler over all that he has. 45 But if that servant says in his heart, ‘My master is delaying his coming,’ and begins to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and be drunk, 46 the master of that servant will come on a day when he is not looking for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in two and appoint him his portion with the unbelievers. 47 And that servant who knew his master’s will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Christ Brings Division

49 “I came to send fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50 But I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how distressed I am till it is accomplished! 51 Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all, but rather division. 52 For from now on five in one house will be divided: three against two, and two against three. 53 Father will be divided against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”

Discern the Time

54 Then He also said to the multitudes, “Whenever you see a cloud rising out of the west, immediately you say, ‘A shower is coming’; and so it is. 55 And when you see the south wind blow, you say, ‘There will be hot weather’; and there is. 56 Hypocrites! You can discern the face of the sky and of the earth, but how is it you do not discern this time?

Make Peace with Your Adversary

57 “Yes, and why, even of yourselves, do you not judge what is right? 58 When you go with your adversary to the magistrate, make every effort along the way to settle with him, lest he drag you to the judge, the judge deliver you to the officer, and the officer throw you into prison. 59 I tell you, you shall not depart from there till you have paid the very last mite.”

Tagged: Christianity, Devotional, Healing, Jesus, Jesus Christ, Laughter, Love of God, Religion ]]> http://commonbreadtogether.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/learn-to-laugh-at-yourself/feed/ 0 Jim Blazsik http://commonbreadtogether.wordpress.com/2009/03/31/250/ http://commonbreadtogether.wordpress.com/2009/03/31/250/#comments Tue, 31 Mar 2009 05:07:52 +0000 Jim Blazsik http://commonbreadtogether.com/?p=250 ]]> Devotion for Tuesday 3/31

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke Chapter 11 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

A Story of Another Woman

This is a story sent to me by another friend who wished to remain anonymous. I hope her story touches you like it touched me. May we always pray, and never give up.

I have an aunt who has had an abortion on more than one occasion. She did this to please her husband for the purpose of having more money for drugs and sex parties.

When I was about 11 years old, along with my 12 year old sister, we went to stay with my aunt in Dallas Texas. Their daycare closed for the Summer, and they were in need of a babysitter – and for our age, the pay was awesome for a summer job.

My aunt became pregnant and it wasn’t long before he begin ordering her to have an abortion. She begged him to let her keep this baby, but he insisted. Even at our age we realized when she was getting her abortion. We stayed out the way, babysat her 3 children and took them to the pool.

Because of the protesters with signs in front of the abortion clinic, the women getting an abortion took the coward’s way, and were bussed in so that no one could see their faces. They were driven into a parking garage, lined up, given paperwork to fill out, paid their money, and given a pill to relax them. Then they were taken in to have their precious babies killed.

After she came home sore and exhausted, her husband put her to work in cleaning the house. He then beat her and while he kicked her between her legs he yelled, “Bitch, you killed my baby!” He then raped her and ordered her to clean the bloody mess on the bed.

When we came back from our day out at the park with the kids, there was my beautiful aunt, beaten and wearing bloody pants from the assault her husband had afflicted on her. Even though she was pale from blood loss and just plain exhausted, I couldn’t pity her at this moment.

That night her husband of 13 years raped my twelve year old sister. She didn’t tell me, but he promised her that I was next. Immediately the next morning, my sister called our parents and told them that I was not helping, and that I was getting on her nerves. She asked them for a plane ticket for me, and two days later – I flew home. A few years later, my sister finally told me. I was devastated. She told my aunt, but she only called my sister a liar. She then confronted her attacker.

To anyone who may read this, maybe it might help point out the burden of the decision to be a single mom, by working two jobs or having tough times. I want people to remember how my aunt killed her baby, a man who raped and beat her, and violated her niece. These men who agree with abortion are hardly with the salt they are made of, and neither are the woman who kill their babies through an abortion when you think about it.

When you think about children, they will love their parents. There is no love from a baby killed by an abortion, or a man who walks out on his responsibility of being a dad.

I have been a single mother of an unwanted boy for 8 1/2 years. He will gladly tell you that I am his mom, but he will never know about the day his dad put me on that coward’s bus to an abortion clinic. He will never know that I never through the gates of the clinic, or about the letter that I left to his father, explaining that I couldn’t go through with it, because I couldn’t live with myself. I knew that every time I would look into his eyes, it would remind me of the baby I killed because of an abortion.

I kept the money for the abortion and took my pregnant self back home to mom and dad. I asked them to help me be strong enough for me and my baby. To this day, this man who is 300 miles away will never know that I didn’t kill his baby through an abortion. He is my son, and I could never be more proud of the decision that I made that day.

If you know someone considering an abortion, or maybe considering one yourself, please check out a website by Eduardo Verastegui, who starred in the movie Bella, here.

IMPORTANT!

If you have a life story you would like to share, please send it to me. I will keep your name confidential if you would like, or be glad to give you all the credit.

We are all paintings of Christ – share you painting with others.

Luke 11

The Model Prayer

1 Now it came to pass, as He was praying in a certain place, when He ceased, that one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.”

2 So He said to them, “When you pray, say:

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
3 Give us day by day our daily bread.
4 And forgive us our sins,
For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.”

A Friend Comes at Midnight

5 And He said to them, “Which of you shall have a friend, and go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; 6 for a friend of mine has come to me on his journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; 7 and he will answer from within and say, ‘Do not trouble me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give to you’? 8 I say to you, though he will not rise and give to him because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will rise and give him as many as he needs.

Keep Asking, Seeking, Knocking

9 “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 11 If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

A House Divided Cannot Stand

14 And He was casting out a demon, and it was mute. So it was, when the demon had gone out, that the mute spoke; and the multitudes marveled. 15 But some of them said, “He casts out demons by Beelzebub, the ruler of the demons.”

16 Others, testing Him, sought from Him a sign from heaven. 17 But He, knowing their thoughts, said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and a house divided against a house falls. 18 If Satan also is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand? Because you say I cast out demons by Beelzebub. 19 And if I cast out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your sons cast them out? Therefore they will be your judges. 20 But if I cast out demons with the finger of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you. 21 When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are in peace. 22 But when a stronger than he comes upon him and overcomes him, he takes from him all his armor in which he trusted, and divides his spoils. 23 He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters.

An Unclean Spirit Returns

24 “When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ 25 And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order. 26 Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first.”

Keeping the Word

27 And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!”

28 But He said, “More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”

Seeking a Sign

29 And while the crowds were thickly gathered together, He began to say, “This is an evil generation. It seeks a sign, and no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah the prophet. 30 For as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites, so also the Son of Man will be to this generation. 31 The queen of the South will rise up in the judgment with the men of this generation and condemn them, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and indeed a greater than Solomon is here. 32 The men of Nineveh will rise up in the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for they repented at the preaching of Jonah; and indeed a greater than Jonah is here.

The Lamp of the Body

33 “No one, when he has lit a lamp, puts it in a secret place or under a basket, but on a lampstand, that those who come in may see the light. 34 The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness. 35 Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness. 36 If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, the whole body will be full of light, as when the bright shining of a lamp gives you light.”

Woe to the Pharisees and Lawyers

37 And as He spoke, a certain Pharisee asked Him to dine with him. So He went in and sat down to eat. 38 When the Pharisee saw it, he marveled that He had not first washed before dinner.

39 Then the Lord said to him, “Now you Pharisees make the outside of the cup and dish clean, but your inward part is full of greed and wickedness. 40 Foolish ones! Did not He who made the outside make the inside also? 41 But rather give alms of such things as you have; then indeed all things are clean to you.

42 “But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and all manner of herbs, and pass by justice and the love of God. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. 43 Woe to you Pharisees! For you love the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces. 44 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like graves which are not seen, and the men who walk over them are not aware of them.”

45 Then one of the lawyers answered and said to Him, “Teacher, by saying these things You reproach us also.”

46 And He said, “Woe to you also, lawyers! For you load men with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers. 47 Woe to you! For you build the tombs of the prophets, and your fathers killed them. 48 In fact, you bear witness that you approve the deeds of your fathers; for they indeed killed them, and you build their tombs. 49 Therefore the wisdom of God also said, ‘I will send them prophets and apostles, and some of them they will kill and persecute,’ 50 that the blood of all the prophets which was shed from the foundation of the world may be required of this generation, 51 from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah who perished between the altar and the temple. Yes, I say to you, it shall be required of this generation.

52 “Woe to you lawyers! For you have taken away the key of knowledge. You did not enter in yourselves, and those who were entering in you hindered.”

53 And as He said these things to them, the scribes and the Pharisees began to assail Him vehemently, and to cross-examine Him about many things, 54 lying in wait for Him, and seeking to catch Him in something He might say, that they might accuse Him.

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke Chapter 10 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

This is a story sent to me by a friend who wished to remain anonymous. I hope her story touches you like it touched me. There are prodigals everywhere – I pray this one will finish her journey running into the arms of her heavenly Father.

A Woman’s Story

I want to share my story with you.

My daughter became pregnant at the age of 20. I admit that I wanted her to get an abortion. Her head was in the clouds, she was not a responsible person and was too lazy to hold down a job. The father of the baby was a do nothing and was the same way – too lazy to hold down a steady job. 

She said she didn’t believe in abortion and refused to have one. Our disagreement caused a great deal of pain: we didn’t have contact with each other while she carried the baby and even after the baby was born. I did reach out to her several times, but her boyfriend worked a wedge between us – it always came back to my insisting that she should have an abortion.

I have always believed in choice, but only up to 12 weeks and in case of a mother’s health – you have to do what you have to do. But then I watched a video of a partial birth abortion last night – and it turned my stomach! (all the more reason that I would never support Obama). I watched all of it and I cried my eyes out – before I only saw a picture or two, but it never conveyed the impact of seeing a video.

I now struggle with what I did in the past, and it now seems as though it was only yesterday. I made a choice for an abortion two times in my life. I gave  birth to six babies, four sons and two daughters. I was never responsible when it came to birth control, I was too naive and too much of a fool – I always believed that “he” loved me. As a result, I was left each time to care for my baby on my own.

I was raped with my first baby, but was too ashamed to tell anyone, not even my own mother. I felt it was my fault for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I chose to keep my baby, and gave birth to my son.

Then I became pregnant with my second son three years later with my boyfriend. He walked out on me at five months along in my pregnancy, which was devastating; but you can imagine the devastation when I lost my  son two months after birth because of SIDS.   

I married three years later. We had two children. After we were married, my husband became abusive and started to drink – and then joined the Army. I hated it. After two years into the marriage, my daughter was born, and with our 15 month old son – I left him.

I later met a man who I felt was my first real love. After 1 year of our relationship I became pregnant. I was on my own with three kids and  without any support from my ex-husband -  he supported another woman’s son, but not his own children. I couldn’t bear the thought of another child, I was so stretched to the limit. So I aborted my baby at 10 or 11weeks of my pregnancy.

It killed me inside. After I took a bunch of pills, I woke up in a hospital with a tube down my nose in the ER.

Four years later I became pregnant again with the same boyfriend. But I couldn’t abort this baby, I just couldn’t do it again. Because of this my boyfriend left me: he didn’t want to tell his parents that he (at the age of 27) was having a baby. His parents had a hang up with me, since I already had children they felt their son deserved more. He finally told them after our son was born. But they gave my boyfriend an ultimatum – me or them. He chose them.

After my son was 14 months old they took me to court and won custody – they had the money and I had three other children to struggle in caring for them.

After around five years later I met someone and started to have a life again. You guessed it, I became pregnant again. But this time I chose to abort this baby, because I was a bit older and I didn’t want a baby with someone I didn’t really know well enough.

I found myself in the same situation as before, I was irresponsible and bore tremendous guilt for my decision. But I still kept seeing the same guy (I wanted to say man, but he wasn’t it) and we married within a year. He became very abusive – emotionally, verbally and even physically.

He broke me down. I didn’t think I deserved more for myself because of the life I made and only having a seventh grade education. This was his ammo of attack in using me at his whim, and after 6 years of bouncing back and forth, I moved back in with him. 

I became pregnant again, and because I refused to abort this baby – he lied to get a restraining order on 3/12/99 and threw me and my children out on the street in the rain. My children’s friend’s parents took them in so that their schooling would not be disrupted. I lost a job I had just started, because of missing work in order to collect my belongings thrown out into the rain and putting them in storage.

I had no where to go but back the backseat of my car. I was losing my oldest son to crack cocaine and whatever else he was running away to do. I felt like the lowest of the lowest. What a mess I had made for my babies. I never thought they would experience all of this. So I slept in the back of my car for 7 months. Here I was, pregnant and no one would offer me a permanent place to live as a house guest, just a night here or there, and that was it.

I was able to get a babysitting job two or so months later. The woman I babysat for finally figured it out just 3 weeks before I delivered my daughter and took me in. I saved every cent, and because I had a place to stay I was able to apply for help. I was told that I was unable to apply for aid without an address.

Four weeks after the birth of my daughter, I was in my own condo with the money I saved and I got my kids back – I survived! But I knew the Lord helped me and carried me through all those nights when I felt there was no one else, not even a friend. 

I had my daughter nine years ago last Saturday, Nov. 1st. I still have had hard times over the years, but she has kept me strong. She is the best! I went back to school to be a better role model for her. I believe she was sent from God to save my life. I don’t think I would have made it all these years without her.

I have been hurt all my life. I guess that is why I chose the road I followed and the men I allowed in my life. My daughter’s love has been unconditional, but the story is different with my other children who have been through so much. I know they love me, but things have changed because of the homeless times we went through and the moving again and again.

 But I am happy to say that my oldest son is now almost 2 years sober and drug free. He lost 15 years of his life to drug addiction – which is half of his life. I praise Jesus for his new life and pray that He gives my son strength to overcome the demon. 

I took the time to share my story so that it would give you an understanding why I wanted my daughter to abort her baby. I didn’t want her to be like me: I wanted my daughter to give herself a chance at life, to get an education and to make a future for herself as her own woman.

I am happy that she didn’t listen to me. I have the best lil granddaughter and I love her so very much! And she loves her Nana! When I watched this video last night, it brought back all the pain I felt from all the decisions in my life. How wrong I was to want my daughter to go through feelings like that when I have experienced those same feelings in my life.

I wrote her a note and left it her mail box last night. I told her how sorry I was and asked her for her forgiveness. We have never really talked about it since we have started to be around each other again. I told her how proud I was of her for her convictions and thanked her for a beautiful baby to love!
Mylee will be 2 years old this December 11th. I can’t imagine not having her in my life. I am glad my daughter got her hard headedness from me!

This video taught me a valuable lesson that I wished I had learned early in my life. I missed out in preparing for and sharing in the birth of my granddaughter. It hurt me to be shut out of her birth arrival because I tried to force my beliefs on my daughter. Although, I doubt my hurt compared to the hurt I caused my daughter by not supporting her and her decision to keep her baby.  I was wrong, and not a good mom to her.

I only hope another mother will be strong and watch this video so that they may go through the same feelings I went through – and never make the same mistake with their daughter. No matter what view they hold, maybe they too will realize how wrong it is to take an innocent life that is unable to speak up for itself.

I also hope you will share my story, if it could save even one young woman from the pain of making the same decisions I have made in my life. I would hope that they would take the step of loving themselves first before picking the partner for their lives, and build a foundation to give their baby the security of a loving home.

The video that our friend is referring to is doe by Eduardo Verastegui, who starred in the movie Bella. This video is a must see – he also talks about Barack Obama and his abortion beliefs. See it here.

Luke 10

The Seventy Sent Out

 1 After these things the Lord appointed seventy others also, and sent them two by two before His face into every city and place where He Himself was about to go. 2 Then He said to them, “The harvest truly is great, but the laborers are few; therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest. 3 Go your way; behold, I send you out as lambs among wolves. 4 Carry neither money bag, knapsack, nor sandals; and greet no one along the road. 5 But whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’ 6 And if a son of peace is there, your peace will rest on it; if not, it will return to you. 7 And remain in the same house, eating and drinking such things as they give, for the laborer is worthy of his wages. Do not go from house to house. 8 Whatever city you enter, and they receive you, eat such things as are set before you. 9 And heal the sick there, and say to them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’ 10 But whatever city you enter, and they do not receive you, go out into its streets and say, 11 ‘The very dust of your city which clings to us we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this, that the kingdom of God has come near you.’ 12 But I say to you that it will be more tolerable in that Day for Sodom than for that city.

Woe to the Impenitent Cities

    13 “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works which were done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. 14 But it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment than for you. 15 And you, Capernaum, who are exalted to heaven, will be brought down to Hades. 16 He who hears you hears Me, he who rejects you rejects Me, and he who rejects Me rejects Him who sent Me.”

The Seventy Return with Joy

    17 Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” 18 And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. 20 Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.”

Jesus Rejoices in the Spirit

    21 In that hour Jesus rejoiced in the Spirit and said, “I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and revealed them to babes. Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in Your sight. 22 All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows who the Son is except the Father, and who the Father is except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him.” 23 Then He turned to His disciples and said privately, “Blessed are the eyes which see the things you see; 24 for I tell you that many prophets and kings have desired to see what you see, and have not seen it, and to hear what you hear, and have not heard it.”

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

    25 And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?” 27 So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’” 28 And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.” 29 But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” 30 Then Jesus answered and said: “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. 32 Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. 33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. 34 So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. 35 On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’ 36 So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?” 37 And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

Mary and Martha Worship and Serve

    38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” 41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Devotion for Friday, Saturday, Sunday 3/26 – 29

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke 9 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

I Remember When…My Mother Wanted Me Dead

Thinking about my mom who passed away in 1985, I was imagining meeting her in heaven when I surprised myself: I didn’t want to see her! I was shocked. Why would I feel this way? I always thought when I went to heaven, I would be thrilled to see her.

But I felt as though I didn’t even want to be anywhere around her. I sat back. “Where did that come from?” I am now 50 years old, and I never, ever had those type of feelings before. Where did this come from?

I have good memories of my mother. She was strikingly beautiful, and she was a strong woman. She had to be. With an alcoholic husband who was an absentee father, she was the one who kept us together.

My mom made a clean break from her former country and embraced her new one. Whereas my father still loved Hungary, my mother was an American from day one. She decided that this was her home. I was proud of both of them when they became American citizens.

My mom learned how to speak English by watching TV, with the help of my dad. With her accent she sounded like Eva Gabor. It made it very interesting when I went to school; I would pronounce certain words in unusual ways. When my younger brother and sister started school, I had to sit down with them to make sure they didn’t sound like they were speaking in tongues.

This was a Hungarian mama, and good things always happened when she spent time in the kitchen. She was an excellent cook, and she also gave us warm memories with her baking.

In a Hungarian family you ate a lot and argued about everything. We could get very loud and boisterous. It didn’t matter what we talked about, it could be the arms race and the extermination of the whole human population – my mom would always give sound advice: eat first, argue later.

A Eastern European mom, she would spoil her sons (I just wish Leona would understand this). I never made my bed. I never washed my clothes. Mama always made sure little her Jimmy was well fed. I would receive all kinds of abuse from my friends in High School with them imitating my mom spoiling me.

But the earliest memory I have of my mother is when she wanted me dead.

I can remember that day as if it was yesterday: it was a beautiful sunny day, and we took a walk to pick up my dad at work. The machine shop he worked at was next to the Cuyahoga River, in downtown Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.

As we walked across the bridge my mom suddenly stopped. She picked me up and held me over the railing, with my face facing her. With my legs dangling in mid air, I looked down and I saw the water below. I looked back up and into her eyes…I could sense that she meant to let me go. Then I heard someone yelling – it was my dad. He called out to my mom to stop. She brought me back – to herself and safety.

You know, I have never spoken about this with my mom or dad. The memory is so vivid, as if it happened yesterday, yet I always wondered if it was a dream. But the confirmation came years later after Leona and I were married. My father brought it up to my mom out of nowhere, and confronted her with it. I stood there speechless. It was a surreal moment. But even with that, I never dealt with it at that time, or later.

There are memories as a young child of my mom getting so angry at me for doing something wrong, that she would react with what seemed to be hatred toward me. She would look at me with disdain and say, “You dirty, filthy piece of garbage. You are nothing but trash. You are filthy!” There were other times she would threaten me by calling the orphanage to take me away.

Why would she do this? Why would she want to kill me? Why would she look at me with such disdain and call me something you just throw away? Why would she threaten me to have people take me away?

I have always refused to face these questions. I found that after 50 years, they were buried memories. Whereas I was able to forgive my father, I never came to that point with my mom. I never realized until recently that I even needed to forgive her. Something inside of me refused to deal with it. How can one deal with the fact that your mother wanted you dead?

It was as if I had two different moms. The one I remember with all the memories I shared, and the one from hell. I never noticed this before. It never occurred to me.

Looking back, I think the mom I remember with warm memories started when my brother and sister were born 4 & 6 years later. I tried to put the pieces together – why was she the mom from hell when it was only me?

Both of my parents were casualties of World War 2: they were both orphans at a young age. My dad was the youngest of a brother and six sisters. They tried to raise him, but my dad wasn’t going to have anyone tell him what to do. He would go on his own at a very young age. My mom had the advantage of being raised in a Catholic orphanage.

My mom met my dad. That was the first mistake. Knowing my dad, I think my mom was pregnant with me before they were married. That was the second mistake. This was 1956. A good Catholic girl raised by Nuns is not supposed to do stuff like this.

Then came the Hungarian Revolution in December of 1956. The Soviets came in with tanks three days after the start of the protests. It wasn’t pretty. My mom would share stories of people killed in the streets, including her best friend who was shot and killed before her eyes.

My mom wanted a new life, and my dad followed. Thus the escape from atheistic Communism to America. But I now think she also wanted to leave her home – because of me.

They arrived at Ellis Island, and I think they were married here, in America. There was always something they held from us – and I think this was it. They arrived in January of 1957, and I was born that June.

My mother was stuck with my father. As long as I can remember, she hated him. She hated him for getting her pregnant.. She hated him for the shame she had to endure. She hated him for having to marry him. She hated him for his drinking and his fooling around.

And guess what: I look like him. I was the reason she wore the scarlet letter, and the shame. I was the reason she was stuck with my dad. I was the reminder of her sin. I think she hated herself, and she projected that hatred toward me.

Looking back, I can see when the change happened. Somehow my mom and dad came to terms with each other, and 4 years later my brother was born. My sister followed a year and a half later. My mom was now the mom I knew. It seems that she came to terms with herself, and understood herself as a wife and a mother.

The years went by. And something changed. Instead of my mom hating me, she started to depend on me. She needed to lean on me to deal with being married to my father.

The way my mom dealt with my dad was to have us hate him. She expressed that hatred with anti-dad power rallies. But I was not only to hate dad; she wanted me to replace him. We would plan as a family that when I was old enough, I would drop out of school, get a job, and support the family. She would be free to divorce him.

There were two events that changed the direction of our family. First: my mom had an emotional breakdown with further breakdowns. Second: I surrendered my life to Christ.

I can’t tell you how it feels walking through a ward of a State Mental Hospital at the age of 13. Walking through the floor and surrounded by the patients was unnerving, like something you would see in a movie. You see people who were drugged, people staring at you, people feeling that they were on display – and people who were trying to reach out to you in desperation.

After anxiously looking for her, we finally found mom. She was seated and looked as if she was drugged out of her mind. I have never seen my mother like this before. This strong, beautiful woman sat there looking as if she was a babbling idiot who didn’t recognize me. I was stunned.

I was enraged at the doctors for drugging my mother like this. It seemed that their solution to my mom’s problems was to drug her and store her in a corner somewhere. It was like she was an item you store on a shelf, in order not to deal with her.

My life changed in an instant. The one thing that brought stability in my life was no longer stable, the one thing that was strong in my life seemed broken, disconnected.

Something in me broke, and I felt disconnected. I was lost. This was a turning point in my life. I could have very easily followed a very destructive path.

As I look back I can now see the significance in the timing of all this. I was in the eight grade, and this was the time of reading the New Testament and my search for God.

After I surrendered everything to Christ my life changed. He became my Rock and foundation, and brought healing to my life. He filled me with His Holy Spirit and the overwhelming sense of His love. This wayward son now had a purpose and a destiny.

This change in my life radically effected my family. Instead of being a self absorbed jerk, I was able to love my mom and support her. I became a big brother to my brother and sister, where before I pretty much ignored them. I was able to help my mom through her troubled times, and with daily things like driving her to do errands instead of my dad. This freed her in depending less on my dad, which helped him to be a bit more relaxed.

There is one last memory I would like to share. In 1972 I became a counselor for the Billy Graham Crusade in Cleveland, Ohio. I brought my mom, brother, and my sister for the last day of the Crusade.

It was a gorgeous summer day at Cleveland Stadium. After Billy was done with his sermon, he had an altar call. I explained to my mom that I had to go down to counsel, and I wanted her to stay put so that I could find her.

After I finished counseling, I began to look for mom. I went to the seats where I left her, but she wasn’t there. I finally found her after a search: she had gone down to the stadium field for prayer. I knew she had a relationship with God, but I also knew she needed to desperately grow in her faith.

I could see that she was drawn to pray, and that God was calling her to be closer to Him. But the Lord also gave her another gift. When you come down to pray, a counselor would meet you. When you’re finished, you would meet a head counselor. My mom’s head counselor was George Beverly Shea – a singer that she deeply admired. It was a perfect finish for a wonderful day.

Thus were my high school years: growing in Christ, helping my mom, being a brother, and dealing with my dad.

But, change must always come, and change did come to our family. Something happened that my mom was not prepared for: I fell in love with Leona.

Ah, another story, for another time.

May I share some thoughts?

I have come to realize these memories and feelings have been there all along. The memories would pop up once in a while, but they would go just as quickly. It seems as though I was content in not resolving the emotional issues surrounding the memories. I just never perceived this as a problem.

But there were the signs. I would hesitate to hug someone – I actually felt like shrinking back, afraid the other person would not want anything to do with me. This is not anything I would think about, it would be an automatic reaction. I just never addressed it, and never tried to find out why.

As a young Christian, I would beat myself up for making a mistake, having an impure thought, or committing a sin. This was not simply sorrow over sin, this would be beating my myself in remorse and condemnation over sin. As I look back, I understand my feelings now; I was afraid that God would throw me away.

I at times struggled with the love of God. How could He love me? Why would He love a filthy piece of garbage? If anything, this gave me a sense of awe of the wondrous love of God. He deeply loves us.

Looking back I could see in many ways I was that little boy being held over the railing of a bridge, my legs dangling in mid air, and looking at the river below. But instead of looking into the eyes of someone who wanted to let me go, I saw the eyes of Jesus who always held me close, even when I didn’t know it.

I have forgiven my mom, which is the first step. I am now forcing myself to receive healing from the Father from these memories and feelings that come from them.. It still amazes me that I am effected by something that happened so long ago.

I do know this: the Father deeply loves us. But it will take a lifetime to pursue the understanding of His love, that He has given us in His Son.

Let us finish here with a prayer by St. Paul:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.Eph. 3:16-19

Luke 9

1 Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. 2 He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. 3 And He said to them, “Take nothing for the journey, neither staffs nor bag nor bread nor money; and do not have two tunics apiece.

4 “Whatever house you enter, stay there, and from there depart. 5 And whoever will not receive you, when you go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet as a testimony against them.”
6 So they departed and went through the towns, preaching the gospel and healing everywhere.

Herod Seeks to See Jesus

7 Now Herod the tetrarch heard of all that was done by Him; and he was perplexed, because it was said by some that John had risen from the dead, 8 and by some that Elijah had appeared, and by others that one of the old prophets had risen again. 9 Herod said, “John I have beheaded, but who is this of whom I hear such things?” So he sought to see Him.

Feeding the Five Thousand

10 And the apostles, when they had returned, told Him all that they had done. Then He took them and went aside privately into a deserted place belonging to the city called Bethsaida. 11 But when the multitudes knew it, they followed Him; and He received them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and healed those who had need of healing. 12 When the day began to wear away, the twelve came and said to Him, “Send the multitude away, that they may go into the surrounding towns and country, and lodge and get provisions; for we are in a deserted place here.”

13 But He said to them, “You give them something to eat.”
And they said, “We have no more than five loaves and two fish, unless we go and buy food for all these people.” 14 For there were about five thousand men.

Then He said to His disciples, “Make them sit down in groups of fifty.” 15 And they did so, and made them all sit down.

16 Then He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed and broke them, and gave them to the disciples to set before the multitude. 17 So they all ate and were filled, and twelve baskets of the leftover fragments were taken up by them.
Peter Confesses Jesus as the Christ

18 And it happened, as He was alone praying, that His disciples joined Him, and He asked them, saying, “Who do the crowds say that I am?”

19 So they answered and said, “John the Baptist, but some say Elijah; and others say that one of the old prophets has risen again.”

20 He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”

Peter answered and said, “The Christ of God.”

Jesus Predicts His Death and Resurrection

21 And He strictly warned and commanded them to tell this to no one, 22 saying, “The Son of Man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day.”

Take Up the Cross and Follow Him

23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily,[a] and follow Me. 24 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. 25 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost? 26 For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels.

Jesus Transfigured on the Mount

27 But I tell you truly, there are some standing here who shall not taste death till they see the kingdom of God.”

28 Now it came to pass, about eight days after these sayings, that He took Peter, John, and James and went up on the mountain to pray. 29 As He prayed, the appearance of His face was altered, and His robe became white and glistening. 30 And behold, two men talked with Him, who were Moses and Elijah, 31 who appeared in glory and spoke of His decease which He was about to accomplish at Jerusalem.

32 But Peter and those with him were heavy with sleep; and when they were fully awake, they saw His glory and the two men who stood with Him. 33 Then it happened, as they were parting from Him, that Peter said to Jesus, “Master, it is good for us to be here; and let us make three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah”—not knowing what he said.

34 While he was saying this, a cloud came and overshadowed them; and they were fearful as they entered the cloud. 35 And a voice came out of the cloud, saying, “This is My beloved Son. Hear Him!” 36 When the voice had ceased, Jesus was found alone. But they kept quiet, and told no one in those days any of the things they had seen.

A Boy Is Healed

37 Now it happened on the next day, when they had come down from the mountain, that a great multitude met Him. 38 Suddenly a man from the multitude cried out, saying, “Teacher, I implore You, look on my son, for he is my only child. 39 And behold, a spirit seizes him, and he suddenly cries out; it convulses him so that he foams at the mouth; and it departs from him with great difficulty, bruising him. 40 So I implored Your disciples to cast it out, but they could not.”

41 Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you and bear with you? Bring your son here.” 42 And as he was still coming, the demon threw him down and convulsed him. Then Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, healed the child, and gave him back to his father.

Jesus Again Predicts His Death

43 And they were all amazed at the majesty of God.

But while everyone marveled at all the things which Jesus did, He said to His disciples, 44 “Let these words sink down into your ears, for the Son of Man is about to be betrayed into the hands of men.” 45 But they did not understand this saying, and it was hidden from them so that they did not perceive it; and they were afraid to ask Him about this saying.

Who Is the Greatest?

46 Then a dispute arose among them as to which of them would be greatest. 47 And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart, took a little child and set him by Him, 48 and said to them, “Whoever receives this little child in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me. For he who is least among you all will be great.”

Jesus Forbids Sectarianism

49 Now John answered and said, “Master, we saw someone casting out demons in Your name, and we forbade him because he does not follow with us.”

50 But Jesus said to him, “Do not forbid him, for he who is not against us is on our[d] side.”

A Samaritan Village Rejects the Savior

51 Now it came to pass, when the time had come for Him to be received up, that He steadfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem, 52 and sent messengers before His face. And as they went, they entered a village of the Samaritans, to prepare for Him. 53 But they did not receive Him, because His face was set for the journey to Jerusalem. 54 And when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, “Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did?”[e]

55 But He turned and rebuked them,[f] and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. 56 For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.”[g] And they went to another village.

The Cost of Discipleship

57 Now it happened as they journeyed on the road, that someone said to Him, “Lord, I will follow You wherever You go.”

58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”

59 Then He said to another, “Follow Me.”

But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.”

60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and preach the kingdom of God.”

61 And another also said, “Lord, I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house.”

62 But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Devotion for Thursday 3/26

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke 8:22-56 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

As we all try to bring meaning to events not only in our country, but around the world, we must remember that we are God’s children. This is what we can rest in, as we trust in His will to make all things work together for our good.

But until we have understanding, and until our Father reveals his path of making all things good – we must make sure we live in His blessing now. Disillusionment, a lost feeling, or feeling rudderless in a sea of uncertainty is not what Jesus wants for us – we must remember that He is in the boat, that He is with us.

I am reminded of the time when Jesus led His followers into a boat.

22 Now it happened, on a certain day, that He got into a boat with His disciples. And He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.” And they launched out. 23 But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy. 24 And they came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!”

Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm. 25 But He said to them, “Where is your faith?”

And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, “Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him!”LK 8:22-25

There are times when Jesus leads us into a boat to sail the sea, and we find ourselves in a situation that we don’t want to be in, where we can’t get out of it, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Well, that is how you would describe, “The Storm.”

The Storm can hit you at anytime, anywhere, and without notice. The Storm will expose you. The rain will fall, the winds will blow, and the waves will pound you. Your nerves will be on edge with the lightening and thunder. And it seems that all you can do – is just hold on.

And all the while Jesus is sleeping. We cry out to Him to try to make sense of it all, and it seems as though he is not hearing us, as if He doesn’t care.

You may handle The Storm by being the one holding on even when others are giving up around you. You are standing in faith. You are the one that is trying to keep it all together.

But the events around you are taking it’s toll. You pray in faith and yet the waves are getting higher. You are holding on, but why isn’t Jesus waking up?

The rain is not letting up and it is very uncomfortable in soaking wet clothes, and it’s getting wetter. The winds are blowing and that last lightening bolt did hit pretty close.

The doubts start creeping in. “Why aren’t my prayers answered? Maybe I am trusting, but what if the boat sinks after all?

You may handle The Storm by giving up, hiding in the corner, and waiting for the end. The thoughts are running through your head; “If Jesus doesn’t care, what chance do we have? If He didn’t wake up now, will He ever wake up?”

You called to Him in prayer, and even gave a couple of screams in fear, but not one answer. Doubts about His love toward you creep in and you feel He doesn’t care after all. You want to give up and wait for the end.

And you will do whatever, because “if He doesn’t care, why should I?”

You may handle The Storm by depending on yourself. You will find the answers and handle the situation on your own. Your motto is, “God helps those who help themselves.” And you don’t need anyone else and you don’t need anyone else’s charity.

You will meet The Storm head on, defiant that you will beat it. You will beat the wind and the waves, you will stick your face to the rain until it ends.

The only problem is that you can’t control the boat. The Storm won’t let you. And if the boat sinks, you will sink with it, alone.

And all the while Jesus is sleeping. We cry out to Him to try to make sense of it all, and it seems as though he is not hearing us, as if He doesn’t care.

You are in The Storm; you are worn out, really freaked, and there is nothing left inside. All you can do is hold on. (And maybe scream a few times).

But then something happens…

Jesus gets up and commands the storm to stop. It’s over. Everything is still. The sea is at peace and all is safe. The quiet is overwhelming. It happened so quickly that it is absolutely stunning.

Then Jesus says to his disciples:

“Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Matt. 8:26.

Jesus’ question is so intriguing. After this terrifying experience He doesn’t comfort them, or even give them a pep talk like, ” I know you were freaked out of your mind, but you did your best.” Or, “I know you were screaming like a bunch of sissies, but I believe in you.”

No, Jesus didn’t comfort them, He challenged them. He was challenging them to think about what just happened. To understand what just happened. This was one of those “learning moments.”

My first reaction would have been (after checking to see if everyone was still on the boat), “Why am I fearful? Why am I fearful? No disrespect Lord, but while You were sleeping, we were fighting the wind, the rain and we were about to be engulfed by the waves. Even Peter was screaming like a girl. I’m telling You, it was all over. It was all over!”

But come to think about it, it wasn’t all over. Even with everything that just happened, everyone was safe.

So Jesus’ question still stands:

“Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Matt. 8:26.

The Storm exposed them. They failed in faith and were fearful because their faith didn’t rest in Jesus, but in the circumstances around them. They believed what The Storm was doing, instead of in Jesus who lead them into the boat in the first place.

They failed in faith and were fearful, because they were mistaken to interpret the silence of Jesus as that He didn’t care about them or the situation. They mistakenly thought that Jesus’ silence meant that Jesus was not active in the events surrounding them.

They failed in faith and were fearful because they didn’t have a full understanding of who Jesus really is. They actually needed The Storm to understand Jesus more fully. They needed The Storm to understand that Jesus was Lord over The Storm.

They failed in faith and were fearful because they forgot that the boat was not going to sink, because Jesus was in the boat. Duh.

The lesson? I would rather be in a fishing boat in the middle of the sea, in the midst of a raging storm if Jesus is in the boat, than be on a huge aircraft carrier on calm waters if Jesus is not in the boat. The safest place to be is with Jesus, no matter what the situation, even if it seems like He is sleeping.

Jesus is active to save you, sustain you, bless you, and lift you up even during The Storm. So make sure you do the right thing, even when it looks like all is lost. Keep on praying, keep in the Scriptures, and keep going to Church. And please – take the time to enjoy life.

Be assured: THE STORM WILL STOP. It will be OK. It will only go for so long. Jesus will lead you to calm waters, and His blessings of peace will overwhelm you.

You will behold the majesty of your LORD because of the storm. And you will realize He is LORD over any and all circumstances you may encounter, even the wind, rain, and the waves – and even with the mess we have today.

For the poet says:

Thank you O’ Storm
for what you desired did not happen.
Your work failed in it’s intent.
The rain didn’t stop us,
The wind would not hold us back,
And the waves did not overwhelm us.

Thank you O’ Storm
for your power
revealed a greater power,
The power of my Lord
And your Lord.
If you did not come
I would have never known,
I would have never seen,
Christ in his majesty
commanding you to cease.

And O’ Storm
you now know and understand,
that when Jesus is in the boat
It is under His command.
it will not sink,
it will not fail,
and it will not be held back.
And with unfurled sail,
gliding through calm waters,
it will reach it’s desired haven -
Jesus, the lover of my soul.

A Kingdom Principle

The Kingdom of God is not limited by the kingdom of man. Therefore, one must see above what others see, and live that Kingdom reality so that others can see.

Luke 8:22-56

Wind and Wave Obey Jesus

22 Now it happened, on a certain day, that He got into a boat with His disciples. And He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.” And they launched out. 23 But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy. 24 And they came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!”

Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm. 25 But He said to them, “Where is your faith?”

And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, “Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him!”

A Demon-Possessed Man Healed

26 Then they sailed to the country of the Gadarenes, which is opposite Galilee. 27 And when He stepped out on the land, there met Him a certain man from the city who had demons for a long time. And he wore no clothes, nor did he live in a house but in the tombs. 28 When he saw Jesus, he cried out, fell down before Him, and with a loud voice said, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg You, do not torment me!” 29 For He had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. For it had often seized him, and he was kept under guard, bound with chains and shackles; and he broke the bonds and was driven by the demon into the wilderness.

30 Jesus asked him, saying, “What is your name?”

And he said, “Legion,” because many demons had entered him. 31 And they begged Him that He would not command them to go out into the abyss.

32 Now a herd of many swine was feeding there on the mountain. So they begged Him that He would permit them to enter them. And He permitted them. 33 Then the demons went out of the man and entered the swine, and the herd ran violently down the steep place into the lake and drowned.

34 When those who fed them saw what had happened, they fled and told it in the city and in the country. 35 Then they went out to see what had happened, and came to Jesus, and found the man from whom the demons had departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind. And they were afraid. 36 They also who had seen it told them by what means he who had been demon-possessed was healed. 37 Then the whole multitude of the surrounding region of the Gadarenes asked Him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear. And He got into the boat and returned.

38 Now the man from whom the demons had departed begged Him that he might be with Him. But Jesus sent him away, saying, 39 “Return to your own house, and tell what great things God has done for you.” And he went his way and proclaimed throughout the whole city what great things Jesus had done for him.

A Girl Restored to Life and a Woman Healed

40 So it was, when Jesus returned, that the multitude welcomed Him, for they were all waiting for Him. 41 And behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the synagogue. And he fell down at Jesus’ feet and begged Him to come to his house, 42 for he had an only daughter about twelve years of age, and she was dying.

But as He went, the multitudes thronged Him. 43 Now a woman, having a flow of blood for twelve years, who had spent all her livelihood on physicians and could not be healed by any, 44 came from behind and touched the border of His garment. And immediately her flow of blood stopped.

45 And Jesus said, “Who touched Me?”

When all denied it, Peter and those with him said, “Master, the multitudes throng and press You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’”

46 But Jesus said, “Somebody touched Me, for I perceived power going out from Me.” 47 Now when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling; and falling down before Him, she declared to Him in the presence of all the people the reason she had touched Him and how she was healed immediately.

48 And He said to her, “Daughter, be of good cheer;your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”

49 While He was still speaking, someone came from the ruler of the synagogue’s house, saying to him, “Your daughter is dead. Do not trouble the Teacher.”

50 But when Jesus heard it, He answered him, saying, “Do not be afraid; only believe, and she will be made well.” 51 When He came into the house, He permitted no one to go in except Peter, James, and John, and the father and mother of the girl. 52 Now all wept and mourned for her; but He said, “Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.” 53 And they ridiculed Him, knowing that she was dead.

54 But He put them all outside,took her by the hand and called, saying, “Little girl, arise.” 55 Then her spirit returned, and she arose immediately. And He commanded that she be given something to eat. 56 And her parents were astonished, but He charged them to tell no one what had happened.

Devotion for Wednesday 3/25

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke Chapter 8: 19 – 21

Then His mother and brothers came to Him, and could not approach Him because of the crowd. 20 And it was told Him by some, who said, “Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see You.” 21 But He answered and said to them, “My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.”

 
Did Jesus diss His mom? I know this is a unusual question, but there are folks who actually believe that Jesus dishonored His mother, or actually corrected her in some manner in the above passage of Scripture.

Now think about it: do we honestly think that Jesus dissed His mom? Would Jesus intentionally disrespect His mama with folks surrounding Him, while she was waiting for Him? And then to do it in front of others – to openly embarrass her in front of the crowd? Is this how He expresses His love to His mother? Are you telling me that this is the example we are to follow?

Please remember what the Torah says:

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Ex 20:12

The Torah is very serious, when it comes to the importance of the family and the honoring of one’s parents in Israel.

The Torah also states:

“Anyone who dishonors father or mother must be put to death.” Ex 21:17

I don’t know about you, but I get the point! Lets see…hmmm…want to live a long life? Honor your parents! Want to live at all? Honor your parents!

The Jesus I know would never do this to His mom. Jesus fulfilled the Torah perfectly, which means that He honored His mom perfectly. Jesus would never fail or sin in fulfilling the letter and spirit of the Torah. Think about it. Only Mary had the perfect Son, which means that Jesus would love and honor her perfectly. Jesus is the perfect example for our lives, and He would be the perfect example as a son.

So, what do we make of this Scripture passage? First, we must remember not to make the mistake of interpreting Scripture without understanding it’s cultural and historical context. Secondly, we must see Scripture as working together, expressing Jesus as it’s focal point.

When we read the Gospels, we understand that Jesus is a Jew, living as a Jew, in the nation of Israel – in the first century. The very fabric of society and culture in the nation of Israel, was governed by the Torah. The Jew of that time would judge Jesus’ teaching (or torah, with a small “t”) and his ministry, by the Torah.

Jewish scholar and rabbi, Jacob Neusner in his book, A Rabbi Talks with Jesus, does this very thing. Neusner, a believing Jew, takes us to Israel and stands with the disciples as they listen to the “torah” of Jesus. In doing this, he is able to share the reaction of a Jew listening to Jesus for the first time.

Here is some of his discoveries:

1) In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus uses the words, “You have heard that it was said by them of old…but I say unto you…” Neusner states that a rabbi would never speak by his own authority, so that in effect, Jesus is speaking as one equal with God, replacing the Torah with Himself.

Of course as Christians, we understand Jesus is the Word of God made flesh. But to the Jews of Jesus’ day, this “torah” is understood as a discontinuity of Torah teaching from all the way back to Moses – and this helps us to understand their reaction.

“And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at His doctrine; for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.” Matt 7:28,29

The word astonished is more to be taken as shock.

2) When, on the Sabbath day, Jesus cries out:

“Come unto Me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30
“For the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath day.” Matt 12:8

Rabbi Neusner’s reaction is that Jesus is now replacing Himself as the Sabbath. He cites the different passages when Jesus is in constant confrontation with the Pharisees. over the strict adherence to the Sabbath, and is alarmed that He is changing the central observance of the nation of Israel.

The Sabbath is understood as how the Jew may act as God does, in that when God rested on the seventh day, Israel rests in the same manner. But now, through the teaching of Jesus, the Sabbath is to be understood as a Person.

3) His teaching and action at the Temple, especially when He states:

But I say unto you, That in this place is one greater than the temple. Matt 12:6

“All right,” Jesus replied. “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” “What!” they exclaimed. “It has taken forty-six years to build this Temple, and you can rebuild it in three days?” But when Jesus said “this temple,” he meant his own body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered he had said this, and they believed both the Scriptures and what Jesus had said. JN 2:19-22

Jesus now replaces the Temple with Himself as the center of worship, the place where the Jew would meet and fellowship with God.

4) What is curious, he specifically cites the words of Jesus that got us started in the first place.

Jesus asked, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” Matt 12:48-50

Rabbi Neusner understands Jesus’ words as directly confronting the Jewish understanding of the family, that is the very heart of the social order within the nation of Israel. He shares that the Jewish family connects them to the continuity handed down from Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, and Jacob, Leah and Rachel. This family is of eternal significance, in that the very land of Israel, is handed down by family.

Jesus now relates family relationships to Him, instead of a nation. The people of God is not limited to one people group – now, it is to be understood as the Church, encompassing all peoples, and all nations. Jesus replaces the nation of Israel with himself and His Body, a new family.

Conclusion

The impact of Jesus’ statement is fueled precisely because He did honor His mom perfectly. Notice that the crowd passed Mary’s message when she had arrived – this was the protocol Jesus always practiced in His ministry, that His mom would always have access to Him.

If Jesus did not treat His mother with honor and respect, He would not have been considered worthy to follow. His words would have fallen to deaf ears. He would not have fulfilled the Torah, and we would still be lost in our sins.

Scripture centers on Jesus: every word that He speaks is purposeful, full of meaning – and totally within His character and mission. Christ fulfilled the Torah perfectly, and His kingdom in turn reflects His character and mission.

A Kingdom Principle

The kingdom of God is reflected in Christ, and therefore in His Body the Church. We as the people of the kingdom are to reflect His character and purpose.

Devotion for Tuesday 3/24

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke Chapter 8: 16-18 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

Do you take the voice of God seriously in your life? If the Father spoke to you right now, and placed a desire in your heart, what would you do? This is actually a Kingdom of God thing. Jesus shares the parable of the Lampstand, to show us how the Kingdom of God works.

Jesus, encourages us to “take heed to how we hear.” Notice that He doesn’t say, what we hear, but how we hear. The Holy Spirit will speak to us, in secret, deep within our hearts. We must still ourselves to listen. As we listen, a seed is planted in the soil of our hearts, where it is intended to germinate and grow.

This time of secret, is the time we seek to understand the seed that is planted within us. We pray. Read the Scriptures. Seek Christ in others who walked before us, who may have had the same seed planted within them. We look for things in our daily lives that relate to what is happening inside of us.

But this work in our hearts is not meant to stay there. The Father’s word intends to do something – to motivate us to do something. We are responsible to bring His word in our hearts to light, so that everyone can see His work in our lives.

The extent of our faithfulness to His seed in our hearts, will determine if and when – there will be additional seeds within our hearts. If we ignore His voice, there will be a time when He stops speaking to us. If we ignore the seed in our hearts, and not let it germinate and grow – that seed could be taken away from us, and given to someone else. There will be no more seeds to come – until we determine to be faithful.

On the other hand, if we are faithful – everything changes. Christ’s light will shine through us, as we represent Him to the world around us. More seeds will come, and if we are faithful, His light will shine brighter in our lives.

A Kingdom Principle

The Kingdom of God provides equal opportunities, but never guarantees equal outcomes.

What will you do with seed planted in you?

Read Luke Chapter 8: 16-18 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

The Parable of the Revealed Light   

16 “No one, when he has lit a lamp, covers it with a vessel or puts it under a bed, but sets it on a lampstand, that those who enter may see the light. 17 For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light. 18 Therefore take heed how you hear. For whoever has, to him more will be given; and whoever does not have, even what he seems to have will be taken from him.”

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke Chapter 8:1-15 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

Have you ever felt that you were going through a spiritual Ground Hog Day? It’s like you go through the same thing over and over again, and no matter what you try to change – circumstances still remain the same? You pray and pray for a door to open, and even would settle for a window to open, and yet nothing opens?

There could be a Kingdom reason. As we look toward the passion, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ – let us seek to understand how the Kingdom of God works. You have a special place in the Kingdom, and a special purpose that only you can fulfill. But do you understand the kingdom of God, and how the Kingdom of God works?

Jesus does something very curious: He uses parables to explain the Kingdom of God. Stories that people of His day could identify with, everyday things that they have either actually done or seen around them. But Jesus’ stories are very different: they convey a spiritual meaning that only the Holy Spirit can reveal.

Why? Jesus explains:

“To you it has been given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest it is given in parables, that ‘ Seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand.’ LK 8:10

Jesus tells us that the parables reveal the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven – and it has been given to His disciples to understand those mysteries. The mysteries have been given to us: but it is up to us to pursue those mysteries, and apply ourselves to understand those mysteries.

Jesus said in Matt. 13:12

For whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.

May I ask you a question? Do you want everything that Jesus has obtained for you, or are you content with things the way they are?

A Kingdom Principle

The mysteries of the Kingdom are given to us – but we must pursue them. The more we pursue, the more we understand; the less we pursue, the less we understand.

You will not understand the mysteries of the Kingdom unless you want to. Will you pursue the mysteries of the Kingdom with all your heart?

Luke 8:1-15

Many Women Minister to Jesus

 1 Now it came to pass, afterward, that He went through every city and village, preaching and bringing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God. And the twelve were with Him, 2 and certain women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities—Mary called Magdalene, out of whom had come seven demons, 3 and Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many others who provided for Him from their substance.

The Parable of the Sower

    4 And when a great multitude had gathered, and they had come to Him from every city, He spoke by a parable: 5 “A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell by the wayside; and it was trampled down, and the birds of the air devoured it. 6 Some fell on rock; and as soon as it sprang up, it withered away because it lacked moisture. 7 And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up with it and choked it. 8 But others fell on good ground, sprang up, and yielded a crop a hundredfold.” When He had said these things He cried, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear!”

The Purpose of Parables

    9 Then His disciples asked Him, saying, “What does this parable mean?” 10 And He said, “To you it has been given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest it is given in parables, that

      ‘ Seeing they may not see,
      And hearing they may not understand.’

The Parable of the Sower Explained

    11 “Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. 12 Those by the wayside are the ones who hear; then the devil comes and takes away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be saved. 13 But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away. 14 Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity. 15 But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience.

Devotion for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 3/20 – 22

Our Father will always make a way. He will make sure that you will get to your divine appointment – and then let all Heaven break loose.

Read Luke Chapter 7 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

I remember when…I forgave my Father

There are good reasons to respect my father. He and my mom (pregnant with me) escaped from communist Hungary to give me a new life. He taught me the value of freedom. He was his own man. We never went hungry. And though he was not a man of many words, I still remember two things he would say to me: first, I could do whatever I put my mind to do, and second, don’t let people tell you what you want to be.

As I pursued the heart of Jesus, I realized that I had to open mine. I felt that my Father in heaven wanted me to remember back, to relive memories of what it was like, growing up with my father on earth. But I felt myself pushing back, not wanting to. I simply did not want to relive past hurts, and didn’t want to bring back certain memories.

Why? There was the other side of my father.

He doesn’t know where my birthday falls on the calendar. Those type of things didn’t seem to be important to him. It may be because he was an orphan at a young age, raised by his older brother and sisters. And by his stories, a lot of the time he lived on his own.

The earliest memory I have of my father was when I was around 4 years old. I was chasing him, calling out to him not to leave home. I seem to remember him leaving because he was angry, so he may have not heard me. But he slammed the door as I was reaching out to him, and the tip of my finger was caught as the door closed. The tip of my finger is permanently deformed, to always remind me of that day.

He never provided any direction and wasn’t involved in my life. He was never involved in my studies at school, and didn’t bother to come to my High School graduation.

I can only remember one time when he played catch with me (it made such an impression on me that I can still remember that very day). I can only remember several times playing chess together. He was not a man that spent a lot of time with his children.

Now there were times we did spend together. If we were out on an errand together, sometimes he would stop at the bar, and I would wait inside until he finished his beer. I guess that was pretty cool for a kid. (He tried to do that one time with my mom while she was waiting in the car. After a while she walked in, ordered another beer, and then poured it on his head. Now that’s really cool).

I can picture him coming home so drunk, that I would be amazed that he could even stand up. I remember standing by the doorway, thinking that if I only lightly touched him with my finger, he would collapse on the floor right in front of me. A son wants to respect his father but…it’s hard to, when you see him sitting on the floor by the toilet, puking his guts out.

I remember the time, when he promised to help me and my friends with a school project. We were going to make a movie together, and he was to help by using his camera. It felt good to have him help me. I think we feel important when our father will take the time just for us. We waited a while for him, but he did come home. The problem was that he came home drunk. And I was left standing there in the driveway with my friends, not knowing what to say.

My first car was a ’65 Chevy Nova (come on guys, we all can remember our first car!). It was a gift from my dad when he bought his new car. (I found out later that I got the car, so I could take my mom to the store instead of him). I loved the thing – it wasn’t the best running vehicle, but it had personality. I named it Old Betsy. Well, Old Betsy had some problems, and it was sidelined in the driveway, waiting for dad to help me get it running again. I thought the day came, when he brought one of his friends over to work on it. They got it started, but I found out as his friend drove away in it – that he sold my car without telling me.

There are different reasons why your dad may to go to court. It may be a traffic ticket or a civil suit. My dad had to go to court because the prostitute he was with, stole his wallet.

As an atheist, he couldn’t understand my faith in Christ. He would criticize me for reading the Bible and taking my faith too seriously. But there were times when he did appreciate my faith, especially when he saw his friend’s kids get into trouble.

There were times when he was drunk, he would have a reoccurring memory of a Soviet soldier crying out to God, as he was dying on a street. I could see the agony inside of him, as if he was the one who shot him (he was a freedom fighter, during the Hungarian Revolution in ’56 against Russian/Soviet occupation). I could see the struggle in his eyes, the deep emotions as if he was crying out to God, trying to grapple with the memory that he couldn’t forget.

I remember looking at our family pictures when I was a young child. One thing you could sense was the sadness. There are pictures that you could tell my mom had just been crying. I remember the arguing, and it would rip me apart. I knew it was because of his drinking, and the amount of money that he would spend on it. But I realized as I got older, it would also be the other women.

I can’t tell you the embarrassment that a kid has to go through, when the police are called out because of the fights between your parents. One thing you learn, it’s harder to call the police when dad yanks the phone cord from the wall.

But I think the thing that hurt the most was when he would hit my mom. There would be times that he hit her while they were arguing or when he was drunk. There would be other times he would try to hit us while we were young, and my mother would stand in the way to take it herself.

The years would take a toll on her, and she suffered an emotional breakdown when I was 13. She came back strong, but things didn’t change with my dad. Over the years she would further breakdown, as the stress levels would go up between them. My father didn’t care to change things, to support her through this. And my mother suffered for it.

And I hated my father.
 
Then came the day. When I was 16, my mom and dad were arguing with each other, until it was getting pretty heated. I could tell that he was about to hit her, when I decided to step in and separate them.

Then all the anger, resentment, and hatred over all the years came pouring out of my heart. I grabbed a frying pan in my hand, separated them, and stood there with hatred seething in my eyes.

I could see fear for the very first time in my father’s eyes.

With the pan in my hand and hatred ready to explode, something happened: I couldn’t move. It felt as if a hand gripped my whole body, I couldn’t move my arm. I stood there motionless.

I realized that the hand of God intervened. And I knew that in His mercy he stopped me from doing something I would regret for the rest of my life.
Staring at him the words, “You will never hit her again” passionately came out of me. And with that, it was over.

As far as I know, he never hit her again.

Some years had past. I was in a strong youth ministry at church. I grew in the Lord and became a youth leader.

But I still hated my father.
 
And then came the other day. While driving down a country road and listening to the radio, a minister talked about God’s love and forgiveness. But he also said that we must love and forgive. A light turned on inside of my heart.

“Could I actually love someone like my father? Could I let go of all that has happened over the years?

I knew I had to do it. The man that I hated all those years, I had to love and then in turn, forgive him. I then realized that the love of my Heavenly Father, gave me the ability to love my earthly father.

It was one of those sacred moments that comes unexpectedly, without any warning. All the while driving in a car, I knew this was God’s time, and God’s appointment for me to do this now. All I did was let go. I can’t explain what happened, but the hate was gone. There was a sense God’s love, peace and contentment.

“I love my father!’ came out of me. I actually meant it. After all the years of hating the guy.

“I love my father.” I could say it without any tension, fear, hatred or anger.
Oh, by the way, I love my father.

I look on my past childhood, and I see a Savior that saved a young man from his sin, and saved him from death. I see the sadness turn into joy, the darkness turn into light.

But do you know another marvelous thing that Jesus did for me? He worked it out that His Father would also be my Father.

How cool is that!
 
It is hard to admit that you are the least of these. I wish I could tell you, that I had a dad that did stuff with me, that we watched the game together, and we could just talk and shoot the breeze. I wish I had a dad that was a good example, loved my mom, and taught me about Christ.

But, I can tell you that I am not a perfect parent (and I have made my share of mistakes), but I did spend time with my kids. I went to my sons’ games (I coached their team) and my daughter’s plays. I watch the game with the boys and movies with my little girl. We talked, and took time to just shoot the breeze.

I can tell you that I love their mom. And I have taught them about Christ.
I guess my experience drove me to love my kids.

Update about my dad:

He is still the same guy. I haven’t seen nor heard from him in years. He seems to be content with that.

I remember calling him from the hospital to tell him that he had a new baby granddaughter. He never came to the hospital, or even bothered seeing her when she came home. I never heard from him.

Years later, I did come from out of town to visit him. I found out He sold the house, and ran off with his girlfriend (my mom died 20 years ago) to live somewhere in West Virginia.

Oh well… I still love my father!
 
I wonder if anyone else may have a story of forgiveness to share with us…

Jesus Heals a Centurion’s Servant

 1 Now when He concluded all His sayings in the hearing of the people, He entered Capernaum. 2 And a certain centurion’s servant, who was dear to him, was sick and ready to die. 3 So when he heard about Jesus, he sent elders of the Jews to Him, pleading with Him to come and heal his servant. 4 And when they came to Jesus, they begged Him earnestly, saying that the one for whom He should do this was deserving, 5 “for he loves our nation, and has built us a synagogue.” 6 Then Jesus went with them. And when He was already not far from the house, the centurion sent friends to Him, saying to Him, “Lord, do not trouble Yourself, for I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof. 7 Therefore I did not even think myself worthy to come to You. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. 8 For I also am a man placed under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” 9 When Jesus heard these things, He marveled at him, and turned around and said to the crowd that followed Him, “I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel!” 10 And those who were sent, returning to the house, found the servant well who had been sick

Jesus Raises the Son of the Widow of Nain

    11 Now it happened, the day after, that He went into a city called Nain; and many of His disciples went with Him, and a large crowd. 12 And when He came near the gate of the city, behold, a dead man was being carried out, the only son of his mother; and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the city was with her. 13 When the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” 14 Then He came and touched the open coffin, and those who carried him stood still. And He said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” 15 So he who was dead sat up and began to speak. And He presented him to his mother. 16 Then fear came upon all, and they glorified God, saying, “A great prophet has risen up among us”; and, “God has visited His people.” 17 And this report about Him went throughout all Judea and all the surrounding region.

John the Baptist Sends Messengers to Jesus

    18 Then the disciples of John reported to him concerning all these things. 19 And John, calling two of his disciples to him, sent them to Jesus, saying, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?” 20 When the men had come to Him, they said, “John the Baptist has sent us to You, saying, ‘Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?’” 21 And that very hour He cured many of infirmities, afflictions, and evil spirits; and to many blind He gave sight. 22 Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things you have seen and heard: that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them. 23 And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.” 24 When the messengers of John had departed, He began to speak to the multitudes concerning John: “What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind? 25 But what did you go out to see? A man clothed in soft garments? Indeed those who are gorgeously appareled and live in luxury are in kings’ courts. 26 But what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I say to you, and more than a prophet. 27 This is he of whom it is written:

      ‘ Behold, I send My messenger before Your face,
      Who will prepare Your way before You.’

 28 For I say to you, among those born of women there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist; but he who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he.” 29 And when all the people heard Him, even the tax collectors justified God, having been baptized with the baptism of John. 30 But the Pharisees and lawyers rejected the will of God for themselves, not having been baptized by him. 31 And the Lord said, “To what then shall I liken the men of this generation, and what are they like? 32 They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling to one another, saying:

      ‘We played the flute for you, And you did not dance;
      We mourned to you, And you did not weep.’

 33 For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ 34 The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look, a glutton and a winebibber, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ 35 But wisdom is justified by all her children.”

A Sinful Woman Forgiven

    36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.” 40 And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” So he said, “Teacher, say it.” 41 “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.” And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” 44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” 48 Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” 50 Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

Devotion for Thursday 3/19

Read Luke Chapter 6:28-49 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

What are you looking for? What do you want to do? Are you content the way things are, or do you feel there’s more? Do you feel something has to change, and you are looking for new direction?

What would you do, if someone came up to you with an opportunity that will change your life forever?

What are you living for? What do you want in life? Do you feel that you are running after the wind, with everything that you have worked for slipping through your fingers?

What if someone came up to you to offer you true treasure…would you change the direction in your life?

The “Success” industry is big time here in the US. It seems that everyone is obsessed with success in their dreams, advancing their careers, or personal fulfillment. It is a “Success Syndrome” with the Apostles of Success trying to find their Pot of Gold by selling their books, videos, and success “stuff” on their websites to help others find their Pot of Gold.

I don’t have a problem with people preaching success. There are plenty of people who need help, and those in the “Success” industry can help with sound principles. Most of the principles are from a Christian/Biblical worldview anyway. And it is very important that folks are successful in taking care of their needs, and helping others with theirs. The issue is when “Success” is a god in and of itself, and the object of the success is the Pot of Gold.

At times the Success industry will appeal to desires of material or personal gain. We become consumed with ourselves, and self promotion to the point that our goals become more important than God and our families. We go from one “success” book to another, we buy another CD or DVD, and a course from the latest infomercial. We try to find that “magic” formula to find success.

Success is a god when the main reason for our lives is to obtain the Pot of Gold.

Jesus said:

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21.

What is this Pot of Gold? Of course this is a personal issue; what we deem as treasure, what we are willing to work for and sacrifice for in our lives. A lot of things are good in themselves. It is good to have a home for our family, money to provide for our needs, and resources to pursue our interests. It is good to pursue a career, and be successful at it. It is good to desire excellence in what we do, and want to stand with our peers. And it is a good thing to pursue a family and find the dream person to share our lives.

But it’s when the “Pot of Gold” becomes the treasure in our heart, becomes the purpose of why we live and work, that we end up worshiping it as our god.

The Pot of Gold becomes our god as we pursue it; because we see it as the answer to our problems, and the fulfillment to our lives. We will sacrifice, work hard, and even let go of things important to us in order to obtain it. Sometimes our families are even left behind.

The Pot of Gold is our god after we obtain it, because we put our trust in it, and will do anything not to lose it. The Pot Of Gold will consume us, own us, and will do anything not to let us go. It desires to make us it’s slave.

Jesus encourages us to pursue true treasure, and He wants us to pursue it with all our heart. Jesus wants us to pursue Him as our Pot of Gold, and become like Him in everything we say and do, as our measure of success.

How do we look at Christ? Have we simply reduced our relationship in the things that we do? We go to Church, we read the Bible, and we may pray. But does doing these things make any difference in our lives?

I think the question comes down to this: is Jesus our Pot of Gold? Are we willing to sacrifice in the pursuit of the “success” in having Christ, and living this relationship to it’s fullest?

May I ask you a question? Are you content in having a mediocre relationship with Jesus? How about another question: are you content in living a mediocre life? Jesus wants us to grab a hold of all that He has for us. And He wants us to grab a hold of all that is in our relationship with Him.

How do we measure success in our lives? Today’s reading of Scripture includes Luke’s version of the Sermon on the Mount. I firmly believe that the way to measure success in our lives – is to pursue the Heart of Jesus as our true treasure, and live out the Sermon on the Mount.
 
What are you looking for? What do you want to do? Are you content the way things are, or do you feel there’s more? Do you feel something has to change, and you are looking for new direction?

What would you do if someone came up to you with an opportunity that will change your life forever?

What are you living for? What do you want in life? Do you feel that you are running after the wind and is everything that you work for slipping through your fingers?

What if someone came up to you to offer you true treasure…would you change the direction in your life?

What would you do if Jesus walked up to you and said…

Luke 6:28 – 49

The Beatitudes

    20 Then He lifted up His eyes toward His disciples, and said:

      “ Blessed are you poor, For yours is the kingdom of God.

       21 Blessed are you who hunger now, For you shall be filled.
      Blessed are you who weep now, For you shall laugh.

       22 Blessed are you when men hate you, And when they exlude you, And revile you, and cast out your name as evil, For the Son of Man’s sake.

       23 Rejoice in that day and leap for joy! For indeed your reward is great in heaven, For in like manner their fathers did to the prophets.

Jesus Pronounces Woes

    24 “ But woe to you who are rich, For you have received your consolation.

    25 Woe to you who are full, For you shall hunger.

       Woe to you who laugh now, For you shall mourn and weep.

       Woe to you when all men speak well of you, For so did their fathers to the false prophets.

Love Your Enemies

    27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. 29 To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. 31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. 32 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

Do Not Judge

    37 “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” 39 And He spoke a parable to them: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? 40 A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher. 41 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye? 42 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother’s eye.

A Tree Is Known by Its Fruit

    43 “For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44 For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. 45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

Build on the Rock

    46 “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say? 47 Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: 48 He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.49 But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.”

Devotion for Wednesday 3/18

Read Luke Chapter 6:1-19 (this Scripture passage is available at the end of this devotion).

What about our day of worship, is it the Jewish Sabbath, or the Lord’s Day? Some may think this a curious question, but the Sabbath was a major point of contention between Jesus and the Pharisees. For most of those in the Body of Christ, the Lord’s Day (Sunday) is the day of worship. But there are folks who insist that Christians are still bound to obey the Jewish Sabbath.

I believe that the Lord’s Day is the designated day for Christian worship. But does it really matter? The answer is a resounding YES! It is so much more than just picking a day. I believe it is because of the very nature and work of Christ Himself. I also believe that if we go back to the Old Testament Sabbath, we reject the work of Christ and return to our own work.

I am going to make a case for a day. First; I will make the theological case that Jesus is our Sabbath rest. Second; I will provide the Scriptural evidence regarding worship on the first day of the week. And third; by citing historical evidence that this was Church practice very early in it’s history.

Jesus our Sabbath rest: His person and work

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

At that time Jesus went through the grain fields on the
Sabbath…Matthew 11:28 – 12:1.

Jesus’ call to rest in Him is made on the Sabbath day, as He was walking through the grain fields with the Apostles. Jesus’ call to rest is in direct contrast with the religious leaders that He confronted, accusing them of tying down the people of Israel with excessive restrictions and burdens regarding the Sabbath.

But Jesus does much more than this: by calling Israel to come to Him for rest, He is revealing Himself as the Sabbath rest of Israel. Jesus ushers in a dramatic change: the Sabbath is no longer a commandment. The Sabbath is now fulfilled in a person, in Jesus Himself.

Matthew’s Gospel is written to present the Messiah to the Jewish nation. So when he presents Jesus speaking authoritatively, “But I tell you that anyone…” in the Sermon on the Mount, he is revealing Jesus as the Torah; and when he quotes Jesus challenging the religious leaders to destroy this Temple and He will rebuild it in three days, Matthew is revealing Christ as the Temple.

Now Jesus calls Israel to come to Him for rest. Jesus is the new Sabbath. The Sabbath is no longer a written commandment, but a Person, who rose on the first day.

It is interesting that rabbi Jacob Neusner, a believing Jew and scholar, sees the same thing in his book, A Rabbi Talks with Jesus.

He shares regarding Jesus’ words:

“My yoke is easy, I give you rest, the son of man is lord of the Sabbath indeed, because the son of man is now Israel’s Sabbath: how we act like God.” pg. 86

Rabbi Neusner finds in his consideration of the teaching of Jesus, that He has replaced the Jewish social order with Himself: He is now the Torah (Word of God), the Temple, and the Sabbath. In the end, he does respect Jesus, but the change is too great, and he ends up walking away from Him.

Rabbi Neusner decided that Jesus replaced the Jewish social order with Himself, but the Christian believes that Jesus fulfills it. Jesus is the fulfillment of the Torah, the Temple, and the Sabbath.

Jesus fulfills creation week with a brand new week. Christ was raised on the eighth day, the day of the new creation in Christ. The eighth day ushers in a brand new week, where we rest in the work of Jesus, and then go out into the world to participate in His work.

We actually work in the state of rest. The prior week is gone, we are no longer to rest from our work, but in His. The prior week is gone, there is no longer a Sabbath to return.

Under the old order we work for six days, and rest from our own labors on the seventh. In the new creation in Christ, we approach the new week by first resting in Christ’s work on the first day, and then we go out and participate in His labors in the kingdom, and then into all the world.

To go back to the seventh day is to reject Christ’s work and return to our own work; to go back to the Old Testament Sabbath is to reject the person and work of Jesus the Messiah, who is the Sabbath.

Evidence from Scripture

We will also see by the following quotations from Scripture listed below, the early church grew in it’s awareness of worship on the first day of the week.

1) Acts 15, the first Church Council

When they came to Jerusalem, they were welcomed by the church and the apostles and elders, to whom they reported everything God had done through them.
Then some of the believers who belonged to the party of the Pharisees stood up and said, “The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to obey the law of Moses.”
The apostles and elders met to consider this question. Acts 15: 4-6

Acts 15 reveals the first theological dispute of the early church. It involved Paul’s ministry to the Gentiles. The question was whether they must first become members of the Jewish community, by being circumcised and obeying the Law of Moses, in order to be saved from their sins and receive salvation in Christ.

Peter gave testimony of witnessing the Gentiles receiving the Holy Spirit without being circumcised:

“He made no distinction between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith. Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of the disciples a yoke that neither we nor our fathers have been able to bear? No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.” Acts 15:9-11

The Council’s decision? …they sent the following letter:

“The apostles and elders, your brothers, To the Gentile believers in Antioch, Syria and Cilicia: Greetings. We have heard that some went out from us without our authorization and disturbed you, troubling your minds by what they said…it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell.” Acts 15:23-29

The Council decided that our salvation is through the grace of our Lord Jesus as He purifies our hearts in faith. Christians are not to be required to be circumcised!

Notice the Council’s requirements did not include keeping the Jewish Sabbath.

2) Now on the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread…Acts 20:7

Though we do see Paul attending synagogues on the Sabbath on his missionary journeys, his purpose was to evangelize the Jews of the Diaspora.

Paul’s visit to Troas show’s the significance of the “first day.” Why would Luke mention this if the first day was just another day? Why would he mention having communion together?

The “first day” is of tremendous significance to the early Christians: it is the day of Christ’s resurrection, and the day of breaking bread together.

3) On the first day of the week let each of you lay something aside, storing up as he may prosper. I Corinthians 16:2

Paul arrives toward the end of 51AD and spent 18 months establishing the Corinthian church.

Even though Paul does not specifically mention worship, Paul is assuming that the saints in Corinth are going to assemble for something, and that it is something that they regularly do on the “first day.”

4) I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day…Rev 1:10

The Apostle John is exiled on the island of Mt Patmos, and here we see the development of the first day of the week into the Lord’s Day. As he is in “the Spirit” on the Lord’s Day as he is caught up to Heaven in the midst of divine worship before the throne of God. We see the worship of the Church in heaven in all it’s glory, with Christ revealed as the Lamb of God. (Rev.4,5).

This is the definitive “Day Of The Lord.”

We will later see that the early church designated the first day as the Lord’s Day.

But what about the Old Testament Sabbath?

Paul states:

5) Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed he will be able to stand for God is able to make him stand.
One person esteems one day above another. Another esteems everyday alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. Romans 14:4,5

By this statement Paul shows us that we are no longer under the Sabbath commandment. Here, Paul is leaving it up to the individual Christian and conscience to determine what days are to be “esteemed.”

But Paul also states:

6) So let no one judge you in food or in drink, or regarding a festival, or a new moon or Sabbaths,
Which are a shadow of things to come, but the substance is of Christ. Colossians 2:16,17.

This is the definitive statement regarding the Sabbath. Paul states that the Sabbaths and festivals are a shadow, with it’s fulfillment in Christ.

So when Jesus said: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them,” Paul is showing us that the Sabbaths and festivals are fulfilled in Christ.

What is very significant is that Paul, Peter, John, and Jude never command Sabbath keeping!
 
The Historical Evidence

The Didache

The Didache is a short instruction on the teaching of the Apostles, and was deeply respected as next to Scripture by some of the Church Fathers. It has a very early date: 65 to 80AD.

“On the Lord’s Day come together and break bread. And give thanks after confessing your sins that your sacrifice may be pure.”Didache v24

This compendium of the Apostles teaching states that Christian worship is on the Lord’s day as designated to Sunday, the day of Jesus’ resurrection. This was a development early in the Church’s history. Remember, the Church was not birthed until the mid 30’sAD.

Saint Ignatius of Antioch

St. Ignatius (50-117?AD) was consecrated as a bishop by the hands of the Apostles, and he was also a disciple of Apostle John. Ignatius received the Apostle’s teaching first hand. He writes:

“Those who lived according to the old order of things have come to a new hope, no longer observing the Sabbath but living in the observance of the Lord’s Day, on which also Our Life rose again.”St Ignatius of Antioch, Ad Magn. 9,1;SCh 10,88

As we can see, the Church in the first century worshiped on Sunday, the day of the Lord’s Resurrection. Again, we see the significance of “The Lord’s Day.” Also notice that Ignatius refers to the Sabbath as part of the “old order of things.”

Again, Ignatius was a disciple of the Apostle John, who was taken up to Heaven on the “Lord’s Day.”

St. Justin Martyr

St. Justin Martyr(100-165AD) was an Apologist and Martyr. He is known for his large body of work, among them is his debate with Trypho, who was probably the most respected Israelite of his time.

We all gather on the day of the sun, for it is the first day (after the Jewish Sabbath, but also the first day) when God, separating matter from darkness, made the world; on this same day Jesus Christ our Savior rose from the dead. St Justin Martyr ,1Apol. 67;pg 6,429 and 432.

Just like Ignatius, Justin makes reference to the Jewish Sabbath in contrast to Sunday, the day of Christian worship. He also ties it with the Resurrection of Christ.

Conclusion

It is interesting that the Sabbath is only mentioned twice after Acts 18:4. One reference is Col. 2:16,17, where Paul states that the festivals and the Sabbaths of the OT are only a shadow and fulfilled in Christ.

But the second reference is from Hebrews chapter 4, written specifically to Jewish believers:

“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.”
For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Heb 4:8-10

Why would Paul mention the need for a Sabbath Rest to Jewish believers if they were already observing the Sabbath day? It is clear he is speaking of Jesus, who is our Sabbath Rest.

May we rest in Jesus, who is our Sabbath rest. Rest in His work. Rest in His ministry as he walked among us. Rest in the crucified and risen Christ. Rest in His ascension. Rest in the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

Do not turn your back on Christ and His work to return to your own work.

The poet says:

He bore our burdens,
why are you carrying them?
He was crucified for you,
why are you crucifying yourself?
He is the resurrected Christ,
why do you live as dead?
He is ascended to Heaven and seated at the right hand of the Father,
why do you sit in gloom and despair?
He has poured out the Holy Spirit,
why are you walking weary and tired, and in your own strength?
He is our Sabbath rest,
why do you turn to your own work?

Luke 6:1-19

Jesus Is Lord of the Sabbath

1 Now it happened on the second Sabbath after the first[a] that He went through the grainfields. And His disciples plucked the heads of grain and ate them, rubbing them in their hands. 2 And some of the Pharisees said to them, “Why are you doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?”
3 But Jesus answering them said, “Have you not even read this, what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: 4 how he went into the house of God, took and ate the showbread, and also gave some to those with him, which is not lawful for any but the priests to eat?” 5 And He said to them, “The Son of Man is also Lord of the Sabbath.”

Healing on the Sabbath

6 Now it happened on another Sabbath, also, that He entered the synagogue and taught. And a man was there whose right hand was withered. 7 So the scribes and Pharisees watched Him closely, whether He would heal on the Sabbath, that they might find an accusation against Him. 8 But He knew their thoughts, and said to the man who had the withered hand, “Arise and stand here.” And he arose and stood. 9 Then Jesus said to them, “I will ask you one thing: Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy?”[b] 10 And when He had looked around at them all, He said to the man,[c] “Stretch out your hand.” And he did so, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.[d] 11 But they were filled with rage, and discussed with one another what they might do to Jesus.

The Twelve Apostles

12 Now it came to pass in those days that He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. 13 And when it was day, He called His disciples to Himself; and from them He chose twelve whom He also named apostles: 14 Simon, whom He also named Peter, and Andrew his brother; James and John; Philip and Bartholomew; 15 Matthew and Thomas; James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called the Zealot; 16 Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot who also became a traitor.

Jesus Heals a Great Multitude

17 And He came down with them and stood on a level place with a crowd of His disciples and a great multitude of people from all Judea and Jerusalem, and from the seacoast of Tyre and Sidon, who came to hear Him and be healed of their diseases, 18 as well as those who were tormented with unclean spirits. And they were healed. 19 And the whole multitude sought to touch Him, for power went out from Him and healed them all.